The Verse:
Plant a heart, and a home will grow there.
Plant a tree; it will grow a heart.
The Vision:
I’m inside a tiny house made of red stone. Outside the window, I can see Goliath. Of all things, I’m baking bread of turquoise cornmeal. Ari is standing in the doorway.
Commentary by Archbishop Co’oal Venesti:
A pastoral vision, emphasizing the wholesome connection between Archon and Matriarch, and reinforcing the holiness of the Goliath Tree.
Commentary by Elma, High Prophetess of Skarsia:
Barf.
Commentary by Prince Ari:
It was a stone house, red against the turquoise plains. She told me that it had taken months to build; she’d had the stone brought from Sideria. “They could’ve fabricated one in two days, but I wanted it to be organic,” she said. “Obviously, wood was not an option.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I promised I would,” she said. “I said that someday we’d live together on Eden.”
But this wasn’t what I’d meant. I’d meant forever. Now I was certain that forever wasn’t mine. “I won’t hold you to it,” I replied. “Not if you don’t want to.”
“I want to. I need this.”
The house was modest. Compared to her other dwellings, it was tiny, the entire building smaller than our private suite at Court Emmere. It looked like a dollhouse next to Goliath. We went inside.
There were only four rooms. On the bottom floor, a sitting room connected to an open porch. A kitchen doubled as a dining space. The one concession to luxury was the enormous bath. “We won’t be receiving any visitors,” she said. “If I want spacious, I could go to the Imperial Palace on Vuernaco.”
The bedroom was above, in the loft. The furniture and accoutrements were simple, but high quality. There was a brass bed, linen sheets, down comforters. Everything smelled new. The only concession to modernity was the fireplace. Of course, wood was out of the question, and Tara would hardly follow the custom of the K’ntasari in the early days – burning animal dung.
It would be a quiet place, a place far from the crowds of journalists and sycophants which increasingly dogged our every movement. General Lemkht had left us reluctantly, knowing that I was perfectly capable of protecting Tara. A small honor guard was stationed about 50 kilometers to the east, in the abandoned Terran base. But they were less likely to be of use than the K’ntasari who constantly visited the tree. Unlike humans, they would keep a respectful distance unless I approached them.
And I should approach them. I should speak to Miranda.
But first, there was something I had to find out. Why did Tara need this? A few weeks of rest? A sense of obligation to me? That was the last thing I wanted. Better to leave me inside where I didn’t have to face the truth.
The distant sun was sinking. She gestured in front of the fireplace, and flame jumped into existence. She sat by my side, resting her head against my chest.
“Ari,” she said, “you’re so quiet. You don’t seem happy.”
It’s impossible for me to lie to her. “You don’t love me anymore.”
“What?” she turned to me, her face registering the surprise. “Where did you get that idea?”
“It’s been so long. If you wanted me, surely the Mover would have emanated me.”
“It doesn’t work at all like that,” she said. She looked away, staring resolutely at the fire. I suspected the thing she had not spoken was this: if that were true, I would be here with Daniel. I clenched my fists hard enough to feel my nails biting into my palms.
“There were many times,” she said quietly, “when I wanted you so badly, but I didn’t get you. Someone else was needed. Ross. Cillian.”
Ross and Cillian. Neither one is jealous at all. Cillian has an easy confidence that he is needed – that there are things he can do for Tara that none of the others can. Ross rarely even thinks of his own desires. I remembered what Ross said when Tara told him she was in love with me. I felt ashamed, but not any less jealous.
“If you really think I’m that fickle, then why are you so jealous of Daniel?”
She’s been in love with him for over four decades. Her point was logical. I felt foolish, but not any less jealous.
“Seth is jealous too,” she said. “And I think Aran is, a little. I know why. That’s why we’re here.” She stands, smoothing her skirts. She walks out on the porch towards Goliath. The setting sun painted the silver branches a coppery red. “I’m grateful to Malachi for pointing this out,” she said. “Atlas and I grew up together, but I’ve spent so little time here.”
I came up behind her, and my heart ached. My tree. It had been so long since I was last here. But I had never been happy here before because she had not been here.
My trunk is in the center. It looked different from when I had last seen it. The bark was more gnarled, the branches less symmetrical. “I’ve changed,” I murmured.
“Of course you have.” Tara descended the porch and wandered over to the foot of the tree, taking care not to crush the mushrooms. “It’s hard for me to get to you,” she said. “There’s an advantage to the fact that Atlas is so asymmetrical.”
She shimmied between Lucius and Seth, squeezing behind Manasseh, and boosting herself up until she was sitting on one of my lowest boughs. It was a strange sensation, having her in the tree like that.
I climbed up behind her, throwing my legs around the bough. It bent a bit under my weight, but Goliath is strong. I wrapped my arms around her, resting my back against my own trunk.
I felt whole.
“Maybe we should just stay here tonight,” she said, relaxing into me. “You’ll be awake anyway. It’s not like we’ll fall.”
“We can stay here as long as you like,” I replied. It could never be long enough.
*****
On the third day, I went to see Miranda. She was blunt, a habit that she’d learned from me. “Are you staying for good?”
“No. Probably not long. I wish it were otherwise.”
Miranda frowned. “You should do as you see fit. You have wisdom.” But I could read something in her face, a habit she had not learned from me: duplicity. Or, at least, concealing her feelings. She wanted to keep her god here. Or she wanted Manasseh here.
“You know I can’t do that,” I said.
“Tara.” And I knew that I was not the only one who was jealous.
Did Miranda love me? Did she truly love Manasseh? She had tried to seduce him. No, I didn’t believe so. Miranda was proud. She was stronger than her lover, and it annoyed her. She thought herself worthy of me. Perhaps she didn’t think Tara was. It would be an easy mistake to make. The more time I spent with Tara, the more I realized that she had learned from a young age to keep her diamonds well-hidden.
Miranda interrupted my thoughts. “Then I wish permission to leave.”
Her statement confused me. “You are free to come and go as you like.”
“Not at all. You made me leader. When I go, I go to Dolparessa, to represent us. But there are so many worlds I have not seen.” She stared upwards, where the small, pale crescent of Volparnu hung against the pinkish sky.
“You wouldn’t like it there.”
“Perhaps not. What of Skarsia? Or Sideria?”
“You’d fit in well on Skarsia. Sideria might be a bit too civilized for your tastes.”
“And Draco?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been there. I think Cüinn is planning the first tests in a few weeks.” And then understanding came to me. Understanding of many things. “The K’ntasari were made to travel,” I said. “Ross made a provision in your constitution for a successor. If there is someone you trust, someone who the people will accept as leader, you needn’t stay.”
She smiled at me and then bowed. “I will assure myself that the people are in good hands.”
*****
I stood in the doorway of my house. I could hear Tara moving in the kitchen. “I don’t know if this is going to work,” she said. “I’ve never baked bread before. I’m thinking of it as an advanced pharmacological experiment.”
“It smells good.” I advance to her, touching her lightly upon the shoulder, so that she would face me. “Were you hoping that I would try to keep you here?” I asked.
Her smile was sad. “Maybe. I really didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to try to force me a second time, but I was hoping for an excuse to stay.” She leaned into my embrace.
“You don’t want Him to go.”
“I don’t want you to go – any of you. And yet, I know, for so many reasons, it has to be that way. Because it’s my destiny.” She glanced out the window at Goliath. “It means another tree,” she said. “I haven’t really gotten to know this one yet.”
“Davy says to tell you that Draco’s tree will only have ten branches. The recombination process he’s working with now is a lot more subtle.”
“You know, I always wanted to live with Daniel in that tiny apartment. Even though I knew I was bound to marry Merkht, I still dreamed of it. And now it’s gone. The whole building is gone. The only place it exists is inside of Atlas.” She pulled away. “Look at me. Look at this place. I’m over sixty, and I still want to play house. I’m like Marie Antoinette, pretending to be a shepherd. Let them eat cornbread.” She sighed. “I just wanted to stop being Archon and Matriarch and be husband and wife for a while.”
I rested my hand gently upon her shoulder. “You wanted a home.”
“I have two of them.”
“Court Emmere and Eirelantra? I suppose you could count Vuernaco.”
“Court Emmere and here. I could never call a place my home if I couldn’t see an Ashtree. But conversely, I had to make this place my home because Goliath was here.”
“Then someday Draco will be your home.”
*****
It was midafternoon, a perfect autumn day. The wind blew gently through the cornstalks, which bowed under their turquoise weight. Soon, they would be harvested. She took my hand, and we walked towards the magnificent spreading tree.
“The reason I came here was to fall in love with Goliath,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever love it quite like Atlas, though. Atlas was my first love, even before Daniel. The reason I asked for you,” she turned to me, placing her hand upon my chest, “is that I’m so much in love with you, I thought it would make it easier to love Goliath.”
“Animal passion is a sudden thing, like thunder. But no one falls in love with a sapling. Love for a tree grows with time. You’ve spent more than half a century with Atlas. Goliath will take root in your heart.”
“Ari the wise. I don’t see that side of you very often.”
“It’s because I’m a fool over you.”
She laughed. “But I’m honestly surprised Ash sent you to me. He tends to be coy about those things.”
“It’s because of the blue amrita. You noticed it before. The Mover uses the blue amrita to reveal His heart to you. Of course He will send whatever interpreter you ask for.”
“I dreamed this house, but the house was really Ash’s dream. He wanted this. Of course he did. He wants me to love him.” She tilted her head back, craning to see the top of the massive tree. “It really is perfect. I’ve been afraid to love it because it’s so perfect.”
And Atlas isn’t. But I knew better than to say that.
“But it’s Ash. Just like Atlas, or you, or any of the emanations.” Gently, she placed her hand upon the bark. Then she rested her cheek against it. “Your wife is here,” she said quietly. “Your wife is home.”