(Year 3610, Month 9, Day 1, Hour 7 Minute 18)
I managed a few hours of sleep, which wasn’t easy. I was on edge and consumed by curiosity. I wanted to know what this was all about.
To make it worse, I kept waking up during my sleep shift. There was a strange noise – like bubbles popping, that started faintly, but grew louder each time I woke. Finally, I decided I’d better check the atmospheric pressure in the ship. Nothing like an oxygen leak to ruin your day. I got up and threw on a floral mini and a pair of sparkle pumps, even though I hadn’t showered yet. I wanted to look good, just in case I ran into Melvin.
I ran into Melvin. He was right outside my door. A little creepy, but maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to get him interested. “Hello, big boy,” I said. He really was big. All the K’ntasari were tall. He was thin, but had well-defined muscles, and the typical golden skin and brown eyes of his people. The six fingers were kind of odd, but I wondered what he could do with them.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
“How nice of you to be concerned,” I said with a smile. “A little tired – I had trouble sleeping. I don’t tend to sleep well by myself,” I said, jiggling my breasts a little for emphasis. Men are suckers for that – everyone except Chase, that is. Chase was so blind to my charms that I started to think he was gay. No such luck.
“Tired,” said Melvin. “Ah. We’re supposed to dock with the station. The parlay is in 45 GalStandard minutes.”
“I’ll get to the bridge, and prepare for docking.”
“It’s all right. Ireeeni is handling the docking.”
I pushed my way past him. “Ireeeni can handle routine, but we’ve never seen anything like this before.” Truth is, I wanted to do it myself.
I took two steps forward and then stumbled. The ship seemed to sway beneath me. The popping noises in my ears grew louder. “Captain?” said Melvin, reaching to steady me.
As messed up as I was, my instincts were still good. I took it as an opportunity to fall into him, pressing my breasts against his chest. “Oh, Melvin,” I sighed. “I’m just a little dizzy. It’s probably the lack of sleep.”
He grasped my shoulders, holding me at arm’s length and staring into my eyes. “Are you certain?”
“I’ll be fine. Let’s…” I began
“…mooomfrey opplinger mbdehbey,” my mouth finished.
“Captain?” queried Melvin again.
“Waaawoh. Tist tuffr tan eeeye tawt twoood beh towah maakh hrrr mowt werkh.”
“Milord?”
What the hell was going on?
“Kay. Mkay. Gettn teh hng of it noaw. Gonna tryta wawk.”
My body stepped forward of its own volition, and collapsed into Melvin’s arms limply, missing a perfectly good chance to grind against him inappropriately.
“We’ve only got thirty-eight minutes, milord.”
“Duunh worry, Ima gettn there. Snot so much mine control as body control.” My body pushed itself upright. “I think it’s preteh good freh first attempt.”
“Here. Try to walk as I support you.”
“S’tuff. Th’balance is all wrong. She’s top-heavy.”
“I noticed,” Marvin said, frowning. “I don’t understand why some human females have such enormous mammary glands. K’ntasari females are much better constructed. Theirs only swell when actually pregnant.”
Should I feel insulted?
“Marvin mah freynd, you are obviously missing owt on soma the finer things in lhife.” My body tentatively moved forward again. This time, the leg did not buckle. “Ah. I’m definitely getting better at this.”
I was not happy, not in the least. Hello, I said, hello, would you mind getting the fuck out of my body?
Um, sorry, said a voice. We kind of need to borrow it for a bit.
We? Who the hell is we?
Broadly speaking, Ashtara. I’m Lucius. I don’t believe we’ve met although you’re familiar with another one of our emanations, Chase.
Chase, I said, or at least I would have said if I had control over my mouth. Do you have any idea how many times I tried to get Chase inside of my body? BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.
There’s no need to yell, Lucius said.
“Milord?”
“Sorry. Suzanna’s not happy.”
“The Captain? She’s still conscious?”
“Yeah, we’d assumed that she’d black out the way we did when the Atlas emanations took over from Goliath before we’d gotten the roots hooked up. But come to think of it, the Floatfish never seemed to suffer any memory loss. She’s back there, kind of like another emanation. Except she’s just a voice. She isn’t in a room or cave or anything.”
Lucius, what the hell is going on?
The Mover needs to be present at the parlay of the Combine of Sentients. As a newly admitted member, it would be very bad form not to show. But since I can’t physically travel outside of the Domha’vei, this is the only way I could manage it.
And you think you can pull it off? That they’ll think I’m another one of your emanations?
No. The SongLuminants always use mind-control to travel. They are also physically bound to their homeworld. So the use of a lesser species as a vehicle will seem entirely normal and natural to them.
A lesser species? I’ll give you a lesser species, you overgrown pile of kindling…
“It’s highly unfortunate you couldn’t use one of us, milord,” said Marvin.
“That was the original plan, but it turns out that K’ntasari are much psychically stronger than humans. And Cara’s pretty tough, too. I’m sure I’ll be able to manage it sooner or later, but until I get the hang of it, it’s better to use the weakest party member.”
Get pruned!
I understand that you’re upset, but the fate of humanity hinges on our good standing in the Combine. We have to keep CenGov and the IndWorlds from antagonizing them.
“If you feel ready to travel, we should head to the conference chambers, milord.”
“Wait a moment.” Do you have any other shoes?
Other shoes?
Yes, ones that aren’t ridiculously uncomfortable.
My body haltingly moves back into my quarters and begins rooting through my closet.
Ah, these should do.
THOSE?!? Those are work-boots I use whenever I have to make adjustments to the main reactor. They’re covered in gel-lube and thermal paste. And besides, they don’t match my dress.
I’m sure the Floatfish are absolutely on top of footwear trends. “All right, Melvin. Let’s head down to the conference room.”
The minute we entered the conference room, the Floatfish delegation began belching luminescent doughnuts. “Would you…look at those…those boots…”
“You don’t like them?” Lucius-me stammered. “I didn’t think you’d know the difference.”
“How could we possible function as merchants without being aware of the latest fashions of all species?” the leader huffed.
I’d just been sartorially humiliated by a giant glowing fish. It was going to be a banner day.*
We seemed to be early. Only the Floatfish were there besides us. There were four of them, three on the left side of the room, hovering near a waterfall and an artfully arranged pile of rocks. The fourth was on the other side, by itself. It was glowing faintly. Otherwise the room was empty, except for a table which held two consoles positioned next to each other, one a perfectly smooth black box with a monitor screen, the second a complicated arrangement of curved and circular components nesting into and winding around one another, with a holographic projection positioned in a beam streaming out of the top.
“I suppose I should introduce myself. I’m Lucius, eighth emanation of Goliath, second tree of Ashtara, as functioning through Captain Suzanna Noviik. These are my retainers, Cara and Melvin. I remember Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv – is he interpreting for the Lords of the Inner Vent again?”
That’s pretty good, Lucius. I can’t tell these damn fish apart.
What are you talking about? They look entirely distinctive. Look at the patterns of color around the gills.
“Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv is our vessel, yes, but the Vent Lords only concern themselves with matters of species evaluation. It is traditional for the Southern Coriolis Directorate to attend meetings of the Combine.”
“I apologize for my ignorance. I don’t recognize the representatives of the Brrrrrrrrrrrrvvbh.”
“Hrrrrrrrrrrrgh, Pftttrrrgmm, and I’m Fllllllrrrrrrrrt,” said the head fish. At least, that’s what I think he said. “Technically speaking, I’m the nuncio to the Combine, but we Brrrrrrrrrrrrvvbh always travel in schools. And here’s Poklok-kinniped of the StoneStolids in front of the waterfall and Thoughtful 45 of the Quicknodes over there on the table.”
“The StoneStolids are both our mentors and our creators,” said the black box. “We’re a young species – the newest in the Combine. Next to you, that is.”
“Artificial intelligence,” said Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv/SCD. “How do you like them apples?** The Vent Lords didn’t ask the question about whether you could accept an AI as a sentient being hypothetically.”
My mouth jerked upwards in a parody of a smile. “Pleased to meet you.”
We’re going to have to completely rewrite the heresy laws, muttered Lucius. We’re going to have to completely remake Skarsian culture.
“I’m sorry,” Lucius/me said, “this is awkward. But is Poklok-kinniped…”
“Ze’s a pile of rocks,” said Hrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
“That’s what I thought. How does uh, ze communicate?”
A shimmer of light passed over the surface of the rocks. “Much as the SongLuminants do – through electrical activity,” said Thoughtful 45. “But to facilitate communication with verbal lifeforms, they developed crystalline computing technology. The apex of this development was to create the Quicknodes. Even so, translation is difficult at times. Certain animal conceptions are absolutely impossible for the StoneStolids to comprehend. Fortunately, such conceptions – like love and war – seem mostly irrelevant. However, we come to the table – or in our case, onto the table – with an attitude of utmost respect.”
The Floatfish – and the Floatfish possessed by the SongLuminants – belched in unison. “Do you see why animal sentimentality is useless?” chortled Pftttrrrgmm.
“Wow,” said Lucius. “The mineral kingdom. I’ve got to think about that one.”
“Watch out,” said Fllllllrrrrrrrrt, swishing its tail at Poklok-kinniped. “The Nau’gsh are ridiculously adaptive. Soon they’ll have a crystalline emanation.”
In my opinion, it was a little late to worry about that. Chase already has rocks in his head.
The door opened, and a humanoid with a praying mantis head and four spindly, insectivoid arms strode in. It was swathed in robes of plastic which had been embroidered with glowing tubes of gas. I was thinking it might be all right for formalwear, but it seemed a bit much for the occasion.
At last, somebody normal, said Lucius.
“This is High Chancellor Matek Lopen *click* Bar Treven *click* Sanis Poltra *clickclick* of the Ateher *hissclick* Masock,” introduced Pftttrrrgmm.
Pftttrrrgmm then spewed out an unintelligible stream of vowels, consonants, hisses and clicks, which I assume was in the Ateher *hissclick* Masock language. Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv/SCD continued with an even longer tirade, after which Matek-whatever clicked its mandibles audibly.
“They were exchanging ritual greetings,” said Thoughtful 45 helpfully. The SongLuminants asked Matek Lopen *click* Bar Treven *click* Sanis Poltra *clickclick* “How was your husband?”
The Floatfish positively spumed seaweed-smelling gas into the chamber. “And do you know what she said?” asked Fllllllrrrrrrrrt between giggles.
“Delicious!” the Floatfish chimed in unison.
Lucius-me gaped at the mantis. “After all,” said Thoughtful 45, “it’s really no one else’s business if they eat their mates.”
“Well, I…I can see the appeal,” gasped Lucius-me. “My mate has eaten my apples on several occasions. I suppose it’s similar.”
There was a flurry of translations. “The High Chancellor is delighted to meet you,” said Thoughtful. “She says that the idea of a tree which produces regenerating emanations is remarkably efficient. She imagines that your wife has a life of ease, provided with a continual buffet of sex and food, without the endless chore of having to look for a new mate.”
“I suppose there’s some truth in that,” said Lucius-me.
The air shimmered, and a figure gradually took shape. “It must be teleportation,” said Melvin appreciatively. His words took me by surprise. I was so amazed by the bizarre collection of species that I had forgotten he was there – and in order for me to forget that I’m standing next to a hot guy, the universe had better be turned on its end.
But nothing I had seen before could have possibly prepared me for this apparition. I can’t possibly describe it.
Animal – probably female – but of an unutterable delicacy and loveliness, said Lucius. As though she were made of a combination of stained glass and wind.
Show off, I muttered.
She moved with grace, every gesture part of a dance. And as she moved, there was a soft tinkling noise, a shimmer of colors, and a sort of…of feeling. I can’t explain it.
An empath, said Lucius. She’s communicating her feelings directly, without need of words. Jamey would love this.
“She doesn’t have a name. Her species doesn’t have a name, either. They find labels constricting and divisive. They’re one of the most ancient species, founding the Combine along with the SongLuminants,” said Thoughtful.
“We can get started,” said Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv/SCD.
“I thought there were eight species in the Combine,” said Lucius-me.
“OH HELLO.”
“How long have you been there?” said Hrrrrrrrrrrrgh, twitching his fins in annoyance. “Honestly, they always do this.”
“Hi,” said Lucius-me, looking around. “I’m afraid I’m at a disadvantage. This human body doesn’t have a very good sensorium.”
“You should just build one,” said Thoughtful.
“YOU CAN CALL US THE TWIST. YOU PROBABLY OVERLOOKED ME BECAUSE WE’RE REALLY SMALL. I’M PHIL, THE CURRENT COMBINE NUNCIO. OF COURSE, THAT ISN’T MY REAL NAME, BUT OUR COMUNICATION TAKES PLACE THROUGH THE EXCHANGE OF INFOPATHY AT THE SUBATOMIC LEVEL. WE JUST THINK IT’S FRIENDLY TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING EASY FOR OTHERS TO CALL US. THE SONGLUMINANTS AND THE STONSTOLIDS KNOW US AS A SERIES OF BLINKING LIGHTS.”
“I wonder if I were in my real body, whether I might be able to talk to you directly.”
“BUT YOU CAN’T LEAVE YOUR STAR-SYSTEM? I GUESS WE’LL JUST HAVE TO VISIT.”
“Turn down your voice-synthesizer,” said Fllllllrrrrrrrrt. “We can hear you perfectly fine.”
“OH SORRY. I mean sorry. It’s hard for us to gauge what will be loud enough to hear at your size.”
“And how many millennia have you been members of the Combine without getting it calibrated? You do that just to annoy us.”
“We’re joking, my dear floaty friends. After all, your sense of humor is legendary.”
Is it my imagination, I said to Lucius, or is that fish sulking?
He is, Lucius replied. I think I’m really going to like the Twist.
“As I said, now that the pleasantries are over, we can get started,” Phhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnv/SCD said. “Our first topic for discussion today is an important one, namely, the immanent destruction of our universe.”
*Literally “a day of large trumpets and fritters.” The idiom is untranslatable – trans.
**The expression is literal. For some reason, proverbs and idiomatic expressions concerning apples are popular in the Domha’vei – trans.