Favorite Songs, pt. 1

Whirljack here.  I was asked to do the guest blog.  At first, I was stumped, which is not a good thing for a tree to be.  I’m not a writer – a literary writer, at least.  I write songs.  Unfortunately, due to litigation from our media push sponsors, the chances of getting any of our Two of Jacks material published in the 21st Century looks slim.  So what could I possibly contribute to a blog?

The idea then came to me that I should ask each branch to talk about his favorite song.  I compiled a list and handed it to Meighan, asking her to push the playlist.

Meighan pointed out to me that as half the songs were written after 2014, it wasn’t possible.  There followed a week of scrambling, where we fought over access to such primitive tools as Pandora, Spotify and YouTube.

Here it is, the favorite pre-2014 song of every emanation, followed by commentary.  [It got a little overwhelming, so I decided to post ten songs at a time.  This is part one of five – ed.]

*****

Daniel – My favorite song is one by Whirljack, “Leaves that Embrace You.”  Well, we aren’t allowed to share it, thanks to the lawyers.  Not that I have anything against lawyers, especially Ross and Constantine, but anyway, I didn’t get carried away searching for another favorite song, at least not as much as much as some other people.  To be honest, I just listened to the media push on this sort of datapad thing that Meighan had – I think it was called a phone.  I stopped when I found this one, which I really liked because it reminded me of Tara when she was a little girl.  It’s called Ether by Black Onassis.

Sloane –  I had to do some looking around, too.  I was really moved by He Lays in the Reins by Iron and Wine and Calexico.  Maybe I’ve spent too much time around horses.

Evan – I usually play and compose Dolparessan folk music.  The closest thing I could find was this: Sylvan Song/Dream of the Archer by Heart.  I really love the theme: “The woods are more than they might seem,” and I thought I might start to include the song in my repertoire.  I experimented a bit and found that I could easily make my fasharp sound like both the mandolins at the beginning.  I don’t sound very much like the vocalist, though.

Whirljack – Save My Love by Brian Jarvis Band.  I actually covered this song in my encore at Woodstick.  It’s a song that really meant something to me at the time, especially because I knew Tara would be in the audience: “You can say I’ve been holding back from you/and you can say I wanted to/but I’ve been holding on for way too long.”

Mickey – Watching You Without Me by Kate Bush is a good song for an intelligence man.

Tommy – How am I supposed to pick one song?  I have a million!  Um, My Only Love by Roxy Music is my favorite song of all time.  There isn’t a dry eye in the house when I sing it.  No, wait, how about A Kiss to Build a Dream on by Louis Armstrong?  Or maybe This Truth by Lovespirals.  Or… [I had to draw the line somewhere – ed.]

Patrick – There’s an old Celtic song called Breisleach which pretty much sums up exactly how we feel about Tara. [I used what seemed to be the most popular version, by Capercaillie.  Since I didn’t understand a damn thing they were saying, I looked it up – ed.]

Cüinn – It’s kind of embarrassing for a Cu’enashti to admit, but I don’t know anything about music.  Maybe it’s the scientist in me, but I felt like I should do some serious research.  I listened to a ton of stuff.  I finally decided on a song which really put me in a happy mood.  It’s called St. Elmo’s Fire by Brian Eno.  The guitar part is by Robert Fripp.  According to my research both Eno and Fripp are supposed to be really important musical innovators, but when I asked Whirljack and Blackjack, I got blank stares.  Then I asked Tommy, who said, “Oh, wasn’t Eno in Roxy Music for maybe two seconds?  But nobody does him at karaoke.”  Well, I still like it.

Jamey – Palo Santo by Shearwater.  “The holy sap/it’s smokey light/I will not hide.”

Ailann – I’m a big fan of reggae.  I think Solidarity by Black Uhuru has to be my favorite. [I find it rather reassuring that the Living God of the Domha’vei would choose this song – ed.]

The Princes and the Pea: an Adventure in the Scientific Method

Mickey:  We’re here today to investigate something we find suspicious – very, very suspicious.  We came across a human folktale called “The Princess and the Pea.”

Cüinn:  In the story, a princess in disguise is revealed when she is unable to sleep on a mattress that has a pea hidden beneath it.  Her host goes so far as to give her ten mattresses, but she still can’t sleep.

Mickey:  It’s really beyond me why they just didn’t remove the pea.

Cüinn:  But the story doesn’t make sense in many ways.  There’s no way a human would be able to detect a pea under ten mattresses.  But a Cu’enashti would.  So my theory is that the woman wasn’t really a princess – she was a Cu’enashti who hadn’t disclosed.

Cillian: Maybe it’s just a stupid story.  Did you ever think of that?

Cüinn:  But rather than just speculate, we can rely on science to test the theory.  We’ll need to enlist the help of Ailann, the current emanation.  Ailann, please go into the bedroom and create nine extra mattresses, and place a pea under the bottom one.

Ailann:  What?

Cüinn:  Just do it.  It’s all in the interest of science.

Ailann:  I hope this isn’t going to waste too much of my valuable time.  Now what?

Cüinn:  OK, get onto the top mattress.

Ailann:  I can’t.  The pile is almost to the ceiling, and it would be difficult to climb up there.

Mickey:  Let’s try it with five mattresses.

Cüinn:  You’re compromising the purity of the experiment.

Ailann:  Five mattresses.  Climbing on now.

Cüinn:  Can you sense something strange?

Ailann: I’m atop five mattresses.

Cüinn:  Can you sense the presence of a mysterious object?

Ailann:  You mean the pea?

Cüinn:  Ha!  He knew there was a pea.

Ailann:  I put it there two minutes ago.

Cüinn:  Come to think of it, Ailann shouldn’t be the one doing the experiment anyway.  He’s the Archon.  We need a prince.  Let’s recruit someone unsuspecting.

Mickey:  We’ll get Valentin.  His perceptions are particularly acute.

Valentin:  Why am I emanated?

Cüinn:  Do you sense anything strange?

Valentin:  The bed has five mattresses?

Cüinn:  Look for something more subtle.

Valentin:  There’s a seed of Pisum sativum under the bottom mattress.  I can smell it.  It was probably grown in the Starfax Valley of the 4th continent of Skarsia, judging from the trace minerals.

Cüinn:  Excellent, excellent.  Now climb on the mattresses.  Good.  Now, can you sleep?

Valentin:  No.

Cüinn:  Ha!

Valentin:  Cüinn, Cu’enashti emanations never sleep.

Mickey:  Maybe the story is a cover-up.  Maybe someone noticed that the princess in the story wasn’t sleeping, and to hide that she was Cu’enashti, she lied and made up the story about the pea.

Cüinn:  But that’s not entirely true.  Chase does sleep.  We have to get Chase to emanate.

Chase:  Huh?

Cüinn:  Chase, get on top of the mattresses, and try to sleep.

Mickey:  It’s dark all of a sudden.

Cillian:  Chase has fallen asleep, you morons.  Now we can’t see anything.

Tara:  What the hell is going on here?

Chase: Huh?

Tara:  What’s with all the mattresses?

Cüinn:  Oh, this is a ripe opportunity!  Chase, get Tara in bed.

Cillian:  That’s about the best idea you’ve had in your entire existence.

Cüinn:  No, wait, I mean try to see if she can sleep on top of the pea.  She isn’t actually a princess, but she is Matriarch.  So she can be our control group.

Lieutenant Graysal:  Eminence, our security scans reported the presence of a strange object in your bed…wait, why are there five mattresses?

Tara:  Don’t ask me.  I just live here.

Graysal:  Our scans of your bedroom have been doubly-cautious since the scandal with Prince Lucius.  We’re detecting a hidden object of a size and shape that might indicate the presence of a microcamera.

Tara:  The papis just keep getting bolder.

Graysal [removing object]:  Peculiar.  It’s rather large for a microcamera, and seems to be organic.

Tara:  It’s a pea.

Graysal:  It could be toxic.

Tara:  It’s a pea, Graysal.  Chase, is this some weird Cu’enashti sex kink?

Chase:  Huh?

Graysal:  I’m taking it to the SSOps lab for analysis.  You can’t be too careful.

Mickey:  So what, exactly, have we proved today?

Cüinn:  The true scientist must be prepared to accept setbacks.  Say, what is this other story about a frog prince?