As Related by Lord High Astronomer Rainier del N’stl’d
It’s really due to Beat, who has actually been bothering to explore the enormous Yggdrasil Tower with Harsh. He comes bursting into Daniel’s flat, shouting, « There’s a café on Level 48! »
« Some espresso would be nice, » says Lorcan. « Maybe I could hold poetry readings there. »
« It has backgammon tables, » says Beat.
Now we get it. It’s achievement #63: “Win at backgammon while drinking cappuccino.” That means someone will be able to rejoin the collective.
It’s terrible around here. There are only eight of us who remain disconnected – and one of them is Solomon, who spends all day at the bar. I’m starting to see why Mickey’s group wanted to go off on their own. It’s less lonely when everyone around you is in the same situation.
« Tarlach should take it, » says Ailann. « At this point, we really need him. »
I suppose I can see the logic, but I’m very disappointed. Give me a choice between having contact with other branches, and therapy for not having contact with other branches, and which do you think I’d take?
I go over to the Moth and Lamp. Solomon is now on beer 94. We might need a physician more than a psychologist – I think his liver is starting to suffer for the ordeal.
« But there’s a really easy way to get two achievements, » he says. « And it doesn’t matter who wins the backgammon game. »
We’d overlooked achievement #90: “Take part in a food fight.” So the plan is this: someone plays backgammon with Tarlach while drinking cappuccino. Certainly the café will have a variety of pastries and snacks for us to indulge in. Then the loser accuses the winner of cheating and begins to pelt him with scones and petit fours.
Ingenious. Apparently, alcohol has not dulled Solomon’s wits.
Tarlach looks for an opponent. Daniel defers: he says that he wants to redecorate his apartment. Everyone had wanted it for years, so he might as well take the opportunity. Driscoll, on the other hand, is inscrutable. « I wouldn’t stoop to that, » he says.
Hurley bows out also, for reasons of his own which are clear to us all. Driscoll doesn’t deserve him.
So it’s Seth, Darius and me. Tarlach holds out the straws to us. Seth holds his breath. Darius, staring into the distance, has to be prompted to take one.
It’s me.
I get it. I get the easy achievement.
Beat puts his arm around me. « I’m glad, » he says. « And Lorcan is glad, even if he won’t say it. So many of our scene are missing. »
It’s then I realize that only Harsh, Beat, Jamey and Lorcan are in; Sloane, Seth, Hurley and Driscoll are still out. Now that Sloane left with Mickey, no one goes up to his place to hang out anymore.
It’s hard for me to imagine that Lorcan cares. I think he just sees me as an easy pollination. The best thing about having him for a mentor is that it seems to come with instant friends, a place to fit in. I still feel a bit like a stray twig, though, like I might be pruned at any moment.
« They get it now, » says Harsh. « Look at who’s left – Daniel, Sloane, Mickey, some of the first emanations. They didn’t know what it feels like for a new branch to get lost. »
He has a point. The Knights of the Quest are nicer to me now than they were before all this happened. Maybe it’s that they can’t take reaching me for granted. Maybe they feel sorry for me. Or maybe Harsh is right – because everyone experienced isolation and ostracism, they’re hyper-aware of it.
Everyone had to experience it except Ross, who got his Gold Card at just the right moment. Because Ross already understood it perfectly.
This makes me certain that Self had this planned despite the interference of the SongLuminants. Or maybe the SongLuminants were part of the plan? It’s boggling to think of the things that Self accomplishes without any of us being consciously aware of it. It’s easy to see why we can’t stop thinking of Self as a god.
But Self is us. Self is the potential we unlock when we function as a completely unified whole.
I have to tell someone about this. It’s inconvenient since I can’t just point to the train of thoughts preserved in my branch.
The café is filled to overflowing – I can count on one hand the emanations still in Merenis who didn’t attend: Driscoll, Dermot and Solomon. Everyone is here to give us support.
Jamey brings over a dessert platter while Tommy serves the javajuice cappuccino. Then I realize that the café’s offerings aren’t random – it’s all the desserts we created for Tara. There are watercolor paintings on the wall which illustrate the items on the menu. Tacked across my dessert, “Dampfnudel with boiled nau’gsh and nau’gsh custard,” is a sign reading “Out of stock.” Yes, that’s how it would work – the only ones available are the ones who have completed the quest.
« But this means the desserts aren’t just for Tara, » I blurt out. « They’re for us to share with each other. And Self set up this competition so we’d discover that. »
« That’s an interesting theory, » says Tarlach, rolling the dice.
I suppose I have a captive audience. I explain my realizations in between my turns.
« Beaver him! » Tommy encourages Tarlach. « You just hit another blot. »
I have to admit that my focus isn’t on the game. Half my stones are on the bar, and Tarlach is already bearing off.
« Everything, down to the pastry, has been designed to force us to work together, » I assert. « Nothing has been left to chance. »
« That’s a gammon, » Tarlach says. « Have you ever read any Jung or Campbell? The true quest is always for the self, and the mandala is a symbol of the self’s unity. I also recommend Marbrecht’s Particle Gestalt Analysis. He was a physicist before he became a depth psychologist. His theory is that every particle is attracted to the quantum state which gives it the most meaningful position in the overall field. A subtheory called optimal positioning became very popular in sociology about three centuries ago. »
“Lord High Analyst Tarlach Tadgh. 19th to emanate, 5 in the color scale, resonates to 11. 1.73 meters tall, cock size 15.44 cm when erect, apparent age 37. Talk show psychologist. Totem is Gleditsia triacanthos var. inermis, the thornless honey locust, fixed star is Merope, the bee-eater. Esoteric symbol is the Platonic solid icosahedron. Dessert is bomboloni filled with nau’gsh curd. Function is analytic empowerment, proto-conscious tendency is honesty, designated Analyze. Blazon is chevronny Lammian honey and sable, an obelisk, proper.”
I know what’s in the script. I’m supposed to accuse him of cheating, then throw the desserts. But I can’t. They aren’t just any desserts. They’re desserts imbued with the essence of my brothers.
There’s a moment of silent anticipation.
« Oh! » says Wynne. « Look at what I found in my pocket. I must’ve picked them up at the casino. »
He hands me a packet of pretzel nubs.
I half-heartedly launch one at Tarlach’s forehead. He plucks it out of the air and pops it into his mouth.
“Lord High Astronomer Rainier del N’stl’d. 51st to emanate, 97 in the color scale, resonates to 509. 1.682 meters tall, cock size 15.48 cm when erect, apparent age 29. Astronomer. Totem is Aloe dichotoma, the quiver tree or kokerboom, fixed star is Kokab, the star. Esoteric symbol is the Minchiate trump La Stella, the star or astronomer. Dessert is dampfnudel with boiled nau’gsh and nau’gsh custard. Function is facilitative inspiration, proto-conscious tendency is precipitation, designated Rain. Blazon is per fess nebuly argent and teal, three mullets countercharged.”
« Let’s not let these go to waste, » says Tommy, grabbing a slice of dried nau’gsh and black walnut brioche.
« Looks like the dampfnudel is back on the menu, » says Tarlach. « I’ll have an order of that.
Further Curious Tales of the Chevalier’s Arbor: Treasure Hunt