C. folium has the dubious distinction of being the first floral venereal disease. A mutated strain of a common yeast causing various infections of the urogenital tract, upon the colonization of Dolparessa, the spores of C. folium spread quickly to the Cu’endhari nau’gsh, where they cause a rust-like blight to form upon the leaves. While the spores can be transported by wind, especially under humid conditions, the symptoms are usually a result of emanations infected with the parasite experiencing a collateral infection in their trees. “It itches like hell,” said one informant. The condition, easily treated in humans by using an antifungal, is much more difficult to eliminate in nau’gsh. “Drop all your leaves and burn them,” is the common wisdom. The disease is far more prevalent in Cu’enmerengi trees, as Cu’enashti are very cognizant of the health of their human partners.
C. folium yeast cells, holographic rendering by Driscoll Garrett.
Briscoe had gone by himself to the War Cathedral. Zosim had brought Mac’kellr there because it had interrogation chambers which could be used to hold prisoners for a short time. The variety of torture implements displayed on the wall outside of the cell hadn’t been employed since the time of Tara’s great-grandfather, but they still looked intimidating as all hell.
Briscoe approached the cell block quietly, making a point of glancing around nervously as he neared. When he was sure Mac’kellr could see him, he put his fingers to his lips, then held up a small device. It was mostly concealed by his hand, so that in the half-light Mac’kellr couldn’t make out what it was.
« It’s a miniholo, » said Whirljack. « For media push projections. Smaller than a datapad. »
But Mac’kellr didn’t know that. “All right,” said Briscoe. “That should’ve deactivated the bugs in your cell. My name’s Briscoe. I’m part of the Matriarch’s support staff. I came to tell you that there are people around here who are your friends. Do you want me to get a message to anyone – to your wife?”
Mac’kellr looked directly into Briscoe’s eyes. “You’re Cu’enashti,” he said. “Of that much I’m certain. But how do I know what side you’re on?”
“Do I have to be on a side?” asked Briscoe. “Like everyone, I was educated by the Cantor. But so much has happened lately, I’m not sure what to believe anymore. The one thing I’m certain of is that the Cu’ensali who burned our trees can’t be left unpunished.”
“Fair enough,” said Mac’kellr. “Do you know what they plan to do to me?”
“I overheard Admiral Whelan telling Lord Danak that you should be kept here for a while for the sake of making you anxious.”
“Expectable. Can you get me out of here?”
Briscoe snorted. “Not yet. The only reason I can even talk to you now is that the Admiral is in bed with his wife. If I were in bed with my Chosen, I wouldn’t hear an earthquake.”
“Maybe someday she’ll marry you,” said Mac’kellr. “All you can do is practice n’aashet n’aaverti.”
“Of course,” Briscoe replied, smiling to disguise his confusion. Why did Mac’kellr assume he was not married?
« Ring, » said Driscoll.
« Somebody answer the door, » said Tommy.
« I mean that he’s not wearing a ring, » said Driscoll. « Most Dolparessans are of Siderian ancestry, and Siderians exchange rings as a sign of marriage. We didn’t because Tara’s mother was Skarsian, and Skarsians consider the custom a reminder of the subjugation of women. »
« Well, it’s convenient, » said Mickey. « If he thinks that Briscoe is unmarried, he’s less likely to realize that he’s one of us. »
« Unless he remembers that the Matriarch doesn’t wear a wedding ring, » said Cillian.
“Anyway, I can try to set something up if we get an opportunity, but are you sure you want to do that? You’ll be a fugitive.”
“Does my wife know where they’ve taken me?”
“How could she not know?” asked Briscoe.
“I assume that they’ve secured the palace grounds. If my wife is at our estate, or even in the city, I doubt that she could sense me. Could you sense your Chosen from that distance?”
“If I focused, I could sense her in the capital. I’m a decent-sized tree.” This was an overt lie. Even without focusing, we could easily sense Tara in the next district. We were a very big tree. But Mac’kellr had given away an important piece of information. Merhna wasn’t very strong.
“If Merhna doesn’t know where I am, she’ll be distraught,” said Mac’kellr. “I’m sure the Cantor knows, but I don’t know if she’ll intervene or even convey that information to Merhna. Hellborne would, but these days, I think the Cantor takes her orders from Ashtara. And Ashtara takes his orders from the Matriarch, who is more Skarsian than Dolparessan. I wish that she could be reminded of her roots.”
“She probably believes that she’s doing the right thing. It’s hard to burn trees. She just doesn’t understand that Cu’ensali aren’t like us.”
“Trees are wasted on Cu’ensali,” said Mac’kellr. “That’s what Merhna tells me. She says that she can’t imagine what it’s like for a tree to reach out into the nul-universe and be taken over by something so cold, ungrateful and insignificant. She says that every nau’gsh should become a Cu’enashti, and have the experience of loving their Chosen.”
“I hadn’t considered that,” said Briscoe, “but she has a point.”
I hadn’t considered it either. I had been so wrapped up in the nightmare of what it was like to be trapped in the nul-universe that it never entered my mind how horrible it must be for the trees to become entangled with a Cu’ensali, with no hope for release except death.
« Ailann, » said Cillian, « we don’t know that Cu’ensali trees feel the same way as Cu’enashti trees. The symbiosis results in an evolution. For all we know, the Cu’ensali nau’gsh are just as rude and isolationist as the Cu’ensali themselves. »
« But we don’t know, » said Dermot. « There’s so little we know. »
« It feels like everything we do is potentially disastrous, including not doing anything at all, » said Tarlach.
“I need to get back to her. You should understand that,” Mac’kellr continued.
Briscoe nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. But now, I hear somebody coming.” This, again, was true. Briscoe could smell that it was one of the ordinary security guards making his evening rounds. He darted off in the opposite direction from the approaching officer.
« That didn’t accomplish much, » said Mickey, « and Mac’kellr will be pissed off when you’re added to the disclosure. »
« Not necessarily, » said Solomon. « He’s laid down a groundwork. Perhaps he can infiltrate Mac’kellr’s faction. »
« Unlikely, » said Mickey. « The Cu’enashti will know it’s us no matter who we emanate. »
« Briscoe, go back to bed, » said Whirljack. « Tara hates to sleep alone. And you’re a virgin. If you don’t change that by morning, I’ll be disappointed in you. »
« Wait, » said Tommy. « Canopus is still on the verandah. »
« I’ll move it, » said Briscoe. « Then I’m going to bed. »
« I have a question, » asked Till. « Has anyone found Rain yet? »
No one answered.
« He’s really trying to hide himself, » said Tarlach.
« Why don’t we just look in his branch? » asked Tommy.
« I already tried that, » said Tarlach. « Seeing that it was an emergency. »
« Right, » said Cillian.
« There are certain situations where confidentiality must be violated, » said Tarlach, « such as when you feel the client is a danger to himself or others. »
« Ellery stayed locked in his room for months, and we never did anything, » said Quennel.
« Actually, we did, » Tarlach responded. « Ross spoke to him as part of the Big Budder program. We determined that it was best to let him alone. Ellery had never said or done anything to indicate that he was depressed. But during the short interval in which we interacted with him, Rain was quite distraught. »
« That’s why we’re worried, » said Lens. « We Yggdrasil branches stick closely together, and he won’t even talk to us. »
« It’s a crisis a minute around here, » said Lorcan.
« The situation is even worse than it seems, » said Tarlach. « The point I was trying to make earlier, before my professional ethics were challenged, is that I can’t seem to access Rain’s branch. He’s shut himself off completely. »
« That’s absurd, » said Till. « Let me try. »
« I can’t, » said Axel. « We can’t even access a branch on our own tree. »
« He isn’t in his room, » said Lens. « That’s the first place we looked. He’s found a hiding spot which is outside of our perception. »
« It’s problematic that there are places in the pleroma outside of our perception, » I said.
« The truth is that we haven’t actually explored our own limitations, » said Dermot. « We keep stumbling upon things that are entirely new to us. We don’t even know if those places – like the amphitheater – were recently created, or if they have always been there and we just didn’t notice. »
« We don’t really know ourself, » said Patrick. « That keeps coming back to haunt us. »
« Cu’enashti have never needed self-knowledge, » said Whirljack. « All they needed was knowledge of the Chosen. Not so long ago, I would’ve said that it was narcissism, a gross violation of n’aashet n’aaverti. But I’ve come to the conclusion that our lack of understanding of our own nature and capacity limits our ability to serve Tara. »
« There’s one sure way to force Rain out, » I said.
Briscoe had returned to the Ipsissimal Suite. Tara stirred; he sat on the side of the bed. “I took Canopus over to Atlas,” he said. “It turned out to be for no good reason. I guess I’m a loser.”
“Hmmm?” Tara stretched. “What’s going on now?”
“They want you to evoke Rain.”
“Rain? Can’t you just swap him out?”
“We can’t find him.”
Tara swung her legs over the side of the bed. “It’s four,” she observed, glancing at the chronometer. “Make me a Chalkolo Julep. It’s too early in the morning to have one, but I’m for saying we call this really late at night instead. And explain to me please how you could misplace one of your personalities. Did you look under the bed?”
“He seems to have gone into hiding,” said Briscoe. “Where do I find liquid oxygen?”
“Just throw it all into a chilled shaker,” said Tara. “That’s what I do.”
“I’ll make my own. It should be easy enough to alchemically alter a glass of water,” Briscoe muttered. “No point in doing something half-ass.”
“Do you know why Rain ran away?”
“He hasn’t exactly been communicative. Our best guess is that he’s protesting what he believes to be the maltreatment of Yggdrasil emanations. He wants better access to you.”
“Then I absolutely won’t evoke him. Briscoe, come to bed.”
“I don’t get it.”
“He’s being childish as a spite shamrock, and he probably guessed that this is what you’d do in response to his disappearance, and he’s doing it to force the situation. I will not be forced. The plan is that we get drunk and fuck, and then you take care of my hangover, and at ten we meet with Lord Danak and Captain Zosim to discuss the Cu’ensali crisis, and at twelve, I’m having lunch with Clive. We should probably fit in a debriefing from Marty about the situation on Earth at some point before that.”
“I can report right now, if you want,” said Marty.
“Thanks, but you’re interrupting my mammalian reproductive activities,” said Tara. “In conclusion, if Rain decides to show his face, and barring some emergency, I’ll meet him in the pleroma this afternoon.”
« She’s such a tough ass, » said Cillian. « That’s why I love her. »
« I’m going back to my temple with Ellery, » I said. « Cillian, do you want to join us? »
« How about Callum? »
I shot a look at Ellery, who nodded.
« How is that fair? » asked Davy as we left.
« It’s actually an excellent development, » said Tarlach. « Ellery is now opening up to Cillian and Callum as well as Ross and Ailann. It portends a time when I and I will be willing to share His heart with all of us. »
*****
Cillian removed his uniform while I admired his muscular body in the imaginary sunlight.
« Why do we even have clothes? » asked Ellery. « What do we need them for in here? »
« My uniform is a statement of my identity, » said Cillian. « So is yours. »
« I don’t understand, » said Ellery.
Callum laughed. « Have you ever seen anyone on the inside wear different clothes? I mean the style – Mickey has dozens of shirts, but they all have loud patterns of flowers and fruit. »
« Quennel and Driscoll, » said Cillian.
« Doesn’t count, » Callum replied. « Changing their style is part of their style. »
I had a different idea. « What about Lorcan, when…»
« When Lorcan changed, » said Callum. « He took off his overcoat. »
« I see, » said Ellery. « Our clothing becomes a projection of our personae, just like our physical appearances and our apartments. »
« That’s why it’s so fucking uncomfortable to wear something different on the outside, » said Callum. « The Admiral has it easy. He has an excuse not to have to wear different things. Once Tara made me wear a dress uniform. It was horrible. »
« Tara also made you wear an evening gown, » said Cillian.
Callum grinned, casting his eyes on the ground. « But I kind of enjoyed that. »
« I’m starting to feel overdressed, » I said, removing my ceremonial robes. « And yes, this is most obviously a uniform. But I think it might be nice to wear civilian clothes for a change. »
« Tara would like that, » said Ellery. « She obviously wants to get closer to you, but I think she feels intimidated. »
« Tara – intimidated? »
« You just don’t have any clue what you do to people, » said Cillian, grabbing my hand. He pulled me down sharply into the grass; I stumbled and fell into his arms.
« Please pay attention to Briscoe, though, » said Ellery. « It’s his time. »
« It’s all right, » said Cillian. « I told you, I’m not jealous. It’s self-defeating. I just…»
« You don’t want to be left out of count. »
« Something like that. I figure that when our instincts take over…hey, Callum, you help Ellery this time. »
« Is that all right? »
« I trust him, » said Ellery. « Callum’s desire to protect is strong. »
« But is it all right for Callum? »
« Tara showed me a different way, » said Callum. « I don’t need to feel pain in order to prove myself anymore. I can also prove myself through service. »
« You don’t need to prove anything, » said Ellery. « You’re perfect as you are. »
*****
Meanwhile, Briscoe and Tara were finishing their juleps. “Tell me about yourself,” she said.
“I like long walks along the beach and Chalkolo Juleps at dawn,” he said. “Also, your hands are perfect. It’s the first thing I remember, the feel of your hands. It was a branch memory I encountered as I brushed up against the roots of Atlas. It’s strange that I can remember it now. There were thousands of us being drawn into the stream and then pushed away. I felt the touch of your hands. I never wanted that feeling to stop. Atlas was pushing us away, but I refused to move. I pressed myself against that rootlet, clinging to the sensation. Suddenly, I was in. The next thing I remember was the other day, when I appeared in the hall.”
Tara placed her hand gently upon Briscoe’s face. “Does it feel as good as you remember?” She regarded him for a minute, then laughed. “The expression you have! So pale and dazed. But the eyes didn’t change at all. Ash’s eyes always look at me like that.”
“I think that’s the contract,” said Briscoe. “To share in this life, we must see with these eyes, eyes that never look away from you. We’re remade in the light of your image. The seed of what I was became this.”
“It’s a nice this,” said Tara. “You have very fine hands, too.” She brought Briscoe’s hand up to her lips.
« There, » said Ellery. « That moment defined him. He’ll live forever in that kiss. »
« Her hands, » I murmured. « Something that simple made him one of us. »
« Ailann, » said Cillian, « It’s perfect. For that kid it’s perfect. That’s why I and I wanted him. »
« Yes, I saw. I could be Briscoe, who now has all he ever wanted, instead of Ailann, whose nature it is to want more. Briscoe could save me from myself. »
« But if we were content, Tara would never achieve her destiny, » said Ellery. « In that regard, you save us from ourselves. »
In that moment, I understood what I and I was trying to do. It was impossible for one being to accomplish what He needed to accomplish, and so he made Himself a multitude, each with a vital function. But what intelligence was capable of accomplishing such a grand design? An intelligence so vast that it was far beyond my comprehension – and yet an intelligence comprised of all of us. If so, I could never compass the whole, but each individual part was available to me…
The feel of Tara’s lips pressed against the bare skin of Briscoe’s hand, the slightest flicker of her tongue in the space between the index and middle fingers, the warm electricity down his spine as he registered the moisture. Only Briscoe was capable of feeling that, which made it possible for all of us to feel it.
What a fool I was to remember only now a puzzle I had solved when I was a mere proto-consciousness a thousand years ago: I had gone as far as I could on my own. If I was to become more, I had to become something, someone else.
« Has it really been that long? » asked Cillian.
« I’m guessing, since eternity looks more or less the same to a god. But it was, I believe, a good four centuries before we encountered Tommy. We needed a musician before we could keep time. It’s been six hundred and forty-eight years since then. »
« Is I and I emanating us, or are we emanating Him? » asked Ellery.