FROM ASHTARA AGONISTES (3614)

A Fifty-Seven Part Drama in The Grecian Fashion, Performed Annually During the Enlightenment Festival

 

Characters

Ashtara – a giant, glowing, winged figure that sits above the stage in the deus ex machina, saying nothing

Owen – brother of Lugh

Lugh – brother of Owen

Cüinn – an idiot savant

Ethan – brother or Barnabas

Barnabas – brother of Ethan

Tara – a goddess

Chorus – inhabitants of Eirelantra belonging to a species of articulate particles known as the Twist

 

Chorus [positive spin]: Seeing all, we have become wise.

Chorus [negative spin]: Hearing all, we have become nosy.

Chorus [equilibration of forces]: Being nosy but wise, we have learned to hold our peace.

Owen: Lugh, I know I’ve fucked everything up.  But I love you.  And in order to prove it to you, I’m dedicating my latest work to you.  Cüinn and I are ready to begin the first tests running power crystals through a wormhole and into the Draco Dwarf.  The thing is that we have to emanate to physically set up the experiment.  Since Seth can’t proceed any further with the Lilith investigation while the High Council is in session, I was hoping that we could use the time…

Lugh:  You mean that you would work on your project while I went to long, boring High Council sessions with Tara, and then at night we’d have a hot threesome together.

Chorus [positive spin]: Owen has put his heart into his work.

Chorus [negative spin]: Owen has put his head up his ass.

Chorus [equilibration of forces]: We fear this will not end well.

Owen: I don’t know what to fucking do, Lugh!  I’d write you a song, but I can’t.  I’d paint you a picture, but I can’t.  So I’m trying to give you a whole goddamn galaxy.  Isn’t it enough?

Lugh: You broke my heart.  Fix that, Mr. Engineer.

Chorus [positive spin]: Lugh is a man of deep emotion.

Chorus [negative spin]: Lugh is being a stubborn prick.

Chorus [equilibration of forces]: Lugh had better not stand in the way of Tara’s Destiny.

Tara: I am Tara.  It is my destiny to have all the galaxies at my feet!

Above, in the deus ex machina, Ashtara gestures dramatically towards stage left.  Ethan and Barnabas emerge.

Ethan: Um, guys, we’re really sorry about all this, but the Mover got exasperated and decided to send in a pinch hitter.

Barnabas: A pair of pinch-hitters, actually.

Chorus [positive spin]: Ethan and Barnabas are mirror images of Lugh and Owen.

Chorus [negative spin]: Barnabas and Ethan are mirror images of Owen and Lugh.

Chorus [equilibration of forces]: Ashtara must needs dream up a gimmick, or Tara will get bored with them quickly.

 

Onward–>

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