Purpose [Reported by Her Eminence Tara del D’myn, Matriarch of Skarsia]:
I was surprised when Quennel showed up two days before we were scheduled to leave for Eirelantra. “I’m sorry Till had to leave so abruptly,” he said, “but we have to get this experiment out of the way. Once you move Canopus to Eirelantra with you, it will be out of range of Atlas.”
“Will it take much time? I’m still making last-minute travel arrangements.”
“I don’t know.” Quennel slumped on the sofa. “I don’t even know what the experiment is supposed to be. And I’m paired with Evan and Barnabas, which is really awkward.”
“I can understand why Barnabas might pose difficulties,” I said, thinking of Ethan, “but why Evan? I thought the two of you get along well.”
“We do. But we’ve both got complications. I’d really like to be his pollen-partner, but he’s shy – and then there’s Ellery. Ellery is supposed to be my sex toy. He’s my natural pollen-partner. But he won’t come out of the boat, and the time he did, everyone was all over him. And also, I’m pretty sure that Evan is the one secretly in love with Patrick.”
“Hmmm.” I mixed a round of rhybaa and tonics while considering this information. “That doesn’t feel right. And it probably doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t see Patrick limiting himself to a steady partner – other than me, that is.”
“I can’t see who else it would be.”
“Did you look in his branch?”
“I would never do that!”
“Why not? I thought there was no such thing as privacy between branches.”
“Well, technically speaking, there isn’t. But we all know that certain branches, like Till or Cillian, they’re fine with everyone looking at everything. But the norm is really that we have a few memories that we want everyone to see, and ones we don’t. No one talks about it openly, but we all know. For example, Tommy wants everyone to see his sexual encounters, but he doesn’t like people reliving when he’s drunk and depressed. In general, it works out because the things we’d rather forget are bad enough that no one wants to relive them anyway. The memories we usually access are about our triumphs, about love and laughter and sex. That’s why so many of us had no direct experience of Whirljack’s tragedy. And also, there are emanations who are voyeurs, and other ones who let people have their privacy. Tarlach’s a terrible voyeur, for all his ranting about confidentiality. Lorcan used to be a voyeur, but he stopped.”
“And you aren’t?”
“We Cu’enashti have a saying: poke your leaves where they aren’t wanted, and you’re likely to meet with a hedge trimmer. And Evan is very private.”
“Then why don’t you just ask him?”
Quennel gave me a look that would kill houseflies.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here,” I said, “and I really need to set aside the things to be packed.”
“Leave all of it. I’ll create an entirely new wardrobe for the council season.”
“I do like some of these pieces, you know. It isn’t all about media push.”
“Look at these boots. The design is good, but the quality…”
“They’re very expensive Arthvean leather.”
“Yes, but Arthvean leather isn’t quite as supple as the leather produced on the moors of Fomalhaut III. There’s one small tannery which employs a process developed by one of the early homestead-geneworkers…”
“Quennel, you’re beating around the bush. Really, you should go talk to Ellery. Someone should. I’d be worried, except that I’m never sure what strange thing Ash is up to. If Ellery is hiding, there must be a reason. But sooner or later, he’d better come out.”
“The experiment doesn’t involve Ellery, though. It involves Evan and Barnabas.”
“Well, what do you have in common with Evan and Barnabas? Fashion? Both you and Evan are total fops. Barnabas is a snazzy dresser, but he’s hardly obsessed with it, the way the two of you are.”
“That’s not it. It must be something else.”
“The only way I’ll ever get to the bottom of this is to go into the pleroma with you. We’ll need someone to stay outside. Maybe that’s what Barnabas is supposed to be for – although it would’ve made more sense to use a single emanation.”
Maybe not,” said Quennel. “The politics between Ethan and Barnabas can get strange. Maybe Ashtara decided that Barnabas shouldn’t participate in anything too intimate.”
Quennel raised his hands – and I am in my room. I knock on the door of Daniel’s apartment.
Evan answers the door. « Can we talk privately? » he asks.
I beckon him into my room.
« Wow, » he says, clearly impressed. « I’ve never been allowed in here before. It’s so…»
« Yes, I know. What did you want to tell me? »
« I’m not in love with Patrick, » he says. « I mean, he’s really attractive, and he’s a wonderful guy, but I’m just not in love with him. »
« Okay. »
Evan stands there for a minute of awkward silence. Finally, he blurts out, « See, the real problem is Ellery. I wouldn’t want to tread on his roots or anything. Because otherwise, I’d kind of like…» His voice trails off. His face is red, and he is staring at the floor. It’s quite fetching.
There’s a knock at the door. « Quennel’s here, » says Tommy loudly.
Evan looks panicked. I open the door nonetheless. The humiliation of public disclosure is good for Evan.
I report to Quennel: « Evan says he’s not the one in love with Patrick. »
« Honto ni? » replies Quennel with a skeptical expression.
« No, » says Evan miserably. « Look, I’d really like…I mean…I’ve been going to therapy lately. I mean, I knew this experiment was coming up, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself…»
« You’ve been doing PRAT too? » says Quennel incredulously. « I signed up for it because I knew that Canopus would be on the move. I wanted to be prepared for any situation. »
« You have Ellery, » says Evan, a little miffed.
« Yeah, but you know that Ellery’s…Ellery’s weird. I wanted to seem attractive to other trees…»
« Slut, » says Evan.
« Look who’s talking. You’ve been doing PRAT. »
« It was Tarlach’s suggestion that I find a pollen-partner, » says Evan, defensively.
« Evan, being pollen-receptive is about being a slut, » Quennel protests. « But having a pollen-partner goes beyond that. It’s about PPP. »
I feel very much like I have come in on someone else’s conversation, a conversation I shouldn’t be hearing, but couldn’t easily get out of. And I know the way that sort of situation inevitably ends.
« Do you think I’m a slut? » asks Quennel, turning to me. « More of a slut than Evan? »
« I’m not a slut. He’s a slut, right, Tara? »
One wrong move, and it will be the Trojan War all over again, I know it.
« I’m not comfortable with slut-shaming, » I tell them.
There is a knock at my door. It’s Tarlach.
« Excuse me, » he says, but I couldn’t help overhearing. »
« Yes, you could, » sulks Quennel.
Tarlach places a firm hand on one each of their shoulders. « You’re missing the point of PRAT entirely, » he says. Sluts aren’t to be shamed. They are to be exalted. Slut is a glorious title – revel in it. »
« Whatever happened to n’aashet n’aaverti? » says Evan.
« Apples and oranges, » Tarlach rebuts. « Apples and mutated Ur-pomelos! »
« He’s right about that, » says Quennel. « My devotion to Tara hasn’t slaked one bit. I adore Tara and want her to screw me into the 1200 thread count H’tsan linen sheets, want her to eat my fruit, my juicy, nau’gshtamine-laden fruit, want my flowers to be filled with pollen so that they become fruit, filled with beautiful Evan’s pollen, Evan who I want to suck off until he screams with pleasure, imagining that the seed in my mouth is hot pollen blasting my tender petals…»
« I get the picture, » I reply. « I get the picture very well. »
« I’ll pollinate you, » says Tarlach. « Now, if you like. »
« Tarlach got the picture, too. Generally, it’s not a good thing for a pervert to be a psychoanalyst. »
« Explain Freud, » he retorts. « Beside, you’ve also missed the point: it’s good for a Cu’enashti emanation to be a pervert anything. »
« What about the people with companion emanations? »
« I don’t claim to understand that phenomenon, » says Tarlach. « Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that it’s good for I and I’s emanations to be a pervert anything. »
« I’ll accept that. »
« Getting back to business, » he continues, « Evan, you need to think more carefully about the result of having a strapping young branch like Quennel hanging all over you. Branches that look receptive get all the action. That’s how it works. Now I want Evan and Quennel to go out there and put on a real show. When Tara fucks Ethan and Barnabas, Owen and Lugh are going to become pollen-receptive because of the brother-resonance. Those two are exemplary, so I want you to give it your all. Produce fountains of sticky pollen! »
« You know those strategy maps they draw for MayaXtreme, showing how the players are supposed to move across the field, and who they’re supposed to pass to? My love life is starting to look like that. Let me get this straight: I fuck Ethan and Barnabas so that Owen and Lugh will fruit, so that Evan and Quennel can get it on. »
« That’s it exactly! » says Tarlach.
« How do Ethan and Barnabas feel about this? It’s their first time, and they’re being used for an experiment. »
« Ethan is already moving Canopus to a spot in back of Atlas, near Owen’s branch, » says Quennel.
I found myself back in the ipsissimal suite. Barnabas shuffled his feet, looked quickly out the window, and then handed me a datapad. It read:
Experiment 11: PIT Intensive
Participants: Evan Finlay-Cole, Esq., Quennel Oakley, Barnabas del Eden’d
Hypothesis:
Nau’gshtamine amide-T production depends on the pollen receptivity of the branch being pollinated, but this receptivity is, in turn, dependent on a number of factors. A positive attitude towards eroticism by the branch is question is paramount, but the flowers will, to an extent, respond to the amount of pollen in the absolute. This means that the number of existing branches and their attitudes – towards eroticism in general and towards the branch to be pollinated – are also at issue. When individual apples are analyzed, it is found that nau’gshtamine amide-T content is also directly related to the amount of sexual attraction between the pollen partners. Thus it is hypothesized that the PRAT/PIT program can be used to increase nau’gshtamine production in receptive branches directly, and also indirectly through their interaction with the pollen of those in the program.
Procedure:
“I’m in the program, too,” whispered Barnabas. “I was desperate. Don’t tell Ethan.”
“Wait, you knew what the experiment was supposed to be, and you didn’t tell us?”
“I couldn’t say anything until I emanated. Ethan would overhear.”
“Why does that even matter?”
“Well, you know Ethan. He’s a bit of…a bit of a prude…”
“I thought he was working on that.”
“Yes, well, but…”
“Oh good grief. I guess it’s time for me to intervene.”
Ethan returned in the hovercar a few seconds later. “Is it all right for me to come in?” he yelled from outside the door.
“Yup,” I said.
When he entered, he saw Barnabas, naked, kneeling, wrists and ankles bound behind him in leather shackles.
“No it isn’t,” he said, wheeling towards the door.
“Get back in here,” I commanded.
Barnabas giggled. “You have no idea how aroused Evan is getting. This sort of humiliation scene is just his thing.”
I hadn’t even thought of that, but it figured. “All right you two, here’s the deal. I had a ton of things to do before leaving for Eirelantra, and I was quite enjoying my time with Till, and suddenly Quennel comes up with this emergency which isn’t even an emergency. I’m in a bad mood, and I just want a drink, a bath, and to go to bed. You two had better make this worth my time.”
“Um, where do I start?” stammered Ethan.
“Get undressed,” suggested Barnabas. “Flaunt your beautiful body.”
“I’m not Lugh,” Ethan replied. “It makes me uncomfortable to be treated like a piece of meat.”
I stared at him. He turned pink. “Everyone is laughing at him,” said Barnabas. “Why bother to emanate if you don’t want to be treated like a piece of meat?”
“Oh Ethan,” I said, “maybe you should go to Tarlach for therapy.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not letting that quack mess with my mind. His methods and his motives are both dubious.”
“Look, it all sounds weird, but Tarlach is effective,” said Barnabas. “It seems like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he does.”
“How would you know?” Ethan snapped. And then the light dawned in his eyes. “You didn’t…”
Barnabas cleared his throat.
“My own brother, subjected to dodgy sexual therapies. I’m going to talk to Ross about this. Maybe we can sue for malpractice.”
“That might set an interesting precedent,” I mused. “Is it even possible to sue yourself?”
“Just go along with it,” said Barnabas. “You’ll see. When our apples improve dramatically, you’ll become a believer.”
I yawned. “This is not sexy,” I said. “Tarlach or no Tarlach, what do the rest of the emanations feel about the fact that you’re boring me in the bedroom?”
“They’re ready to throw rotten potatoes,” said Ethan, wilting.
“Ethan, do something,” Barnabas hissed. “Something really kinky.”
“I’m at a bit of a loss as to what would be really kinky in these circumstances,” he said. “It’s like adding water to the ocean with an eyedropper.”
“Ethan!”
“All right, all right.” He grabbed a candle from over the mantle; it burst into flame instantly through his alchemy. He approached Barnabas, towering over him, allowing the wax to drip down onto a nipple. “Callum goes in for this sort of thing, doesn’t he?”
“Fuck,” said Barnabas, wincing a bit, but licking his lips. “I think I might like it. Do I like it?” he said, looking worriedly at me.
“But it all seems so medieval,” said Ethan disgustedly. “No,” his face became thoughtful. “An engineer wants real toys.” He held up the candle, which transformed into a metal cylinder with a thin rod protruding from one end.
“What are you going to do with that?” asked Barnabas, sounding a little apprehensive.
“What is that?” I asked.
“It’s a standard Huyssen’s active probe,” answered Ethan. “The only problem is that they tend to short in the presence of nul-energy. We’re pretty much saturated in nul-energy, so it isn’t good for one of us to touch the tip – as Owen discovered the first time he used it. Don’t worry – it isn’t dangerous. Only painful.” He touched the probe to Barnabas’ nipple.
Barnabas screamed. Then he looked at me expectantly. “Did I like that?”
“Hmmm,” I pondered. “No. I don’t need another Callum. One is exhausting enough. But Ethan seems really into this.”
“It seems that I am. For one, Lugh is such a nice guy, I might as well be the anti-Lugh. For two, we’re missing a sadist now that Lorcan’s gone soft.”
“Oooh, I wouldn’t let Lorcan here you say that.”
“Ethan, please, I’m your brother! I thought you were down with brotherly love?”
Ethan stroked Barnabas’ hair. “Of course I love you. I wouldn’t hurt you if I didn’t love you.”
Ethan touched the probe to the tip of Barnabas’ cock. Barnabas properly shrieked.
“Okay, this is worth the price of admission,” I said. “But I’m still having a drink. Ethan do you want one?”
“You’re ruining the experiment,” Barnabas howled. “Evan is fucking traumatized.”
Ethan answered him. “For one, why should I give a fuck about Evan? For two, I’ll just bet that there’s a sweet little hurt-comfort scene going on with Quennel. Look, this is all your fault – and hers. I come in here with you trussed up like that, and you tell me to get kinky. What do you think I’m going to do, dress up in spangled tights and spray whipped cream on you?” He stroked the probe briefly on the lips of the bound man.
“Besides,” said Ethan, “you started it by going to that PRAT treatment. Were you looking for another pollen-partner, you little slut? Just because I can’t pollinate you…”
“Wait,” said Barnabas. “I’m confused. I thought you wanted nothing to do with brancest.”
“Barnabas, my love, it seems clear that we cannot fight the tide. So if Lugh is fated to look upon Owen with adoration, then I’ll make you my willing slave.”
“Shit,” said Barnabas. “He’s lost it. It’s really gone pear-shaped.”
“I almost forgot,” I said. “I asked Chef Yuric to send me some of those chocumber crèmes wrapped in candied nau’gsh leaf. I’ll have Lady Madonna bring them up from the kitchen.”
“I love chocumber,” said Ethan. I handed him a glass of Prosecco.
“You’d better let me up,” said Barnabas. “If Lady Lorma sees me like this, she’ll have a heart attack.”
“Oh come on. Don’t tell me you can’t regularize her cardiac rhythms,” I said, sipping the bubbly. “You know, I don’t have Prosecco nearly enough. Lucius really likes it.”
“Lucius,” said Ethan. “Is this turning you on, Lucius? Do you want to pollinate me?”
“If I were him, I’d be afraid,” said Barnabas.
“But Lucius also went through Tarlach’s brainwashing. Do you think he’ll lose a chance to get in tight with a potential pollinator?”
“It wasn’t brainwashing,” said Barnabas. “It was liberating. Life-affirming.”
Lady Lorma opened the door. She stared, appraising Barnabas and his manly attractions. “It won’t work,” she said finally. “It didn’t work when you were a child, and it won’t work now. I know when you’re acting out to get attention, missy.” She left the platter of crèmes on the table, turned on her heels and exited.
“Wow, that ruined the mood,” said Ethan.
“I swear that ladies-in-waiting get special training in cock-blocking,” I replied.
Ethan fed the bound Barnabas one of the confections. “So was that any good?” he asked.
“You were fucking scary,” said Barnabas. “The anti-Lugh. I almost bought it.”
“Evil twins are hot,” I said. “Blackjack also left a void recently.”
“It’s really tiring to keep it up, though,” said Ethan. “Sadism is hard work.”
“Don’t I know it! Callum is totally a handful.” I flopped back onto the bed. “All right. We’ve got Prosecco, chocumber, adrenaline and endorphins. It would be a shame to let all these drugs go to waste.”
| Emanation | Initial Nau’gshtamine Content | Nau’gshtamine Content After PRAT/PIT | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Average of pollinated apples | |||
| Ethan | 205.36 mg | 258.96 mg | |
| Barnabas | 204.74 mg | 237.33 mg | |
| Pollinated by Evan | Pollinated by Quennel | ||
| Owen | 301.05mg | 315.67 mg | 343.76 mg |
| Lugh | 327.22 mg | 355.43 mg | 348.99 mg |
| Mean value of all emanations | 269.22 mg |
Results:
I still wake up in the middle of the night, calling for Ash. But this time, I was awakened by the sound of soft voices.
“I really was mad at you about the PRAT thing,” whispered Ethan.
“Well, I really was mad at you about Ace. Thing is, we’d better get used to it. We can’t pollinate each other without extraordinary means.”
“Yeah. That’s why I didn’t want to do…this. For Cu’enashti, being brothers means that you’re the branches farthest away.”
Ethan sniffled a little, and Barnabas kissed him on the forehead. I pretended to sleep, but they knew. Of course they did.
Lord Danak wasn’t exactly happy to see them. “We really need Ailann or Patrick, someone who can do damage control,” he whispered. “Not that there’s anything wrong with Princes Ethan and Barnabas…”
“Archbishop Venesti has done all the damage control there’s going to be,” I replied. He had issued an edict to the faithful: due to the situation as originally envisioned at Nightside, Till was created as a god of war. The fact that he did not kiss babies was not a personal slight, but an ecumenical truth. “As for Ailann, he’ll be needed once the court convenes. For now, Ethan and Barnabas stay.”
Shortly after takeoff, we returned to our quarters. Ethan came up from behind, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you so much,” he said. “I couldn’t say it before. I didn’t feel like I had the right to say it before.”
“Ash,” I said, turning to look him at him. “Why do you do this to yourself? You know I love you, no matter what form you choose.”
I moved over to Barnabas. “You know, I really like it when you emanate as brothers. Having two men around makes me feel so protected. I know that’s a horrible thing to say. I’m a failure as a Skarsian woman. I’m supposed to be proud of my ability to take care of myself. But I know the truth. If I had been alone, the 5th Matriarch would’ve squashed me like a bug. She was right about me. It’s not a lack of strength, it’s just that I wasn’t ruthless enough. I never would’ve come this far without allies.” I rested my head on his shoulder.
Ethan came up from behind again, and put his arms around both of us.
Debriefing:
Ethan: When Tara said that, about having both of us around, about needing the Mover, I was so happy I could’ve floated away in a shower of space-dust. I could’ve turned into an ELFF and danced rainbows across the room. The priorities – her safety, her destiny, her pleasure – were all fulfilled, and she was pleased with us for it. I felt completely at peace.
Barnabas: So this was what my first time was like: Tara was on her hands and knees sucking me off while Ethan fucked her from behind, doggy style. And when we were done, she turned around and kissed Ethan, and he could taste me on her lips.
She fell asleep, and she was so perfect, so beautiful and perfect. I was never so happy. I said to Ethan, “If this is what she wants – Lugh and Owen had to go through so much pain to get to where they are, and we have it handed to us. If this is what she wants me to be, that’s what I am.”
Ethan looked at me, and I could tell he was feeling the same way, except that something was bothering him. That’s when he said that the PRAT treatments made him jealous.
It’s tragic in a way, Owen and Lugh, that they can’t pollinate each other naturally. But then again, they always get to be together – partners, like me and Ethan. Maybe someday, Tara will hand-pollinate us.
Evan: I was very worried about my nau’gshtamine content. I had already failed spectacularly when I couldn’t prevent Tara from going to university on Earth. We didn’t know if she would ever return – it was Jack who saved us then. No matter what I felt, I wasn’t going to let everyone down again.
When I started the therapy, Tarlach said that I was actually quite pollen-receptive, but my shyness was getting in my way. So he said the best thing for me to do was to have a pollen-partner, and it was pretty clear that Quennel was interested. I was worried for a few reasons, though. Quennel wasn’t on my tree; he was on Canopus. That meant there would be times he’d be pollinated by other trees. I have to admit that it makes me a little jealous. But the bigger problem was Ellery. Ellery was created for Quennel. Wouldn’t it make more sense for Ellery to be Quennel’s partner?
Tarlach said that Ellery was just weird, and that I should go for it, but it was awkward. Fortunately, Tara and Tarlach set me straight. Now my nau’gshtamine level is very respectable, and it’s all thanks to PRAT/PIT.
Quennel: I really did think that Evan was the one secretly in love with Patrick. After all, he’s known Patrick since the day he emanated. And Evan is quite shy, so I thought he might have trouble expressing his true feelings. As it turned out, he did, but it wasn’t Patrick he wanted. So I’d say that the PRAT/PIT treatment worked out pretty well for me. Someone should convince Ellery to try it.
Also, Ethan is hot. Could we put Canopus under Goliath for a little while?
Conclusion [Reported by Tarlach Tadgh, PsyDC, Prince Consort of the Skarsian Matriarchy]:
PRAT/PIT is an unequivocal success, bringing nau’gshtamine levels close to normal in the disturbingly low Ethan and Barnabas, and prompting even higher performance in the already impressive Owen and Lugh. All emanations should report for PRAT/PIT immediately.
Future Investigation:
It remains to be seen whether continuing past the initial period of therapy will have a further beneficial effect. Lucius and Quennel have volunteered to participate in a follow-up study.