Cord is trying an experiment, doing Tarlach’s show in wholo. The wood is smooth and heavy in my hand.
[Daniel is speaking to Tarlach – the sharer becomes immediately aware of his unconscious charm, his imperfect handsomeness as he shoves the unruly brown hair out of his eyes with his bony fingers.]
Daniel: I didn’t think anything of it. Why would I? Someone had to be the first to emanate. I didn’t know anything! That’s why I accepted what the Cantor told me at face value. At the time, it was helpful – she was the creator of Cu’endhari civilization. But she wasn’t…I don’t like to criticize my elders…progressive? We know so much more now. [He grins – it’s an adorable, lopsided grin. The sharer can sense that beneath the surface of this awkward nineteen-year-old boy is an entity of enormous knowledge and power.] Thinking back, I wonder how I did it. How could I have lived, being alone like that? But I managed. For Tara’s sake. She was all I thought of.
Tarlach [turns to Chase]: And how about you? How did you cope with being alone?
[Chase is attractive in the way that all people who care nothing for their own lives are attractive; immediately recognized as the sort of beautiful loser feared by the mothers of girls since the dawn of civilization.]
Chase: Um, I took a lot of drugs. [Daniel giggles.]
Tarlach [turns to Rand]: Your situation was a little different.
[Rand gives the immediate impression of being honest, earnest and gregarious. He’s handsome, and there’s an easy physicality about him, in short, exactly the type of man one would want in a sensible long-term relationship. Pretty much the opposite of Chase.]
Rand: It was a terrible, terrible experience, but there was always a sense of urgency – I had a mission to accomplish. I was cut off from the pleroma because the SongLuminants were looking for Ashtara – I was an agent so undercover that I wasn’t even told my assignment. I had to figure everything out for myself. Once I encountered Tara, however, I knew my purpose, if nothing else.
Chase: I didn’t have Tara. She dumped us because she got sick of Whirljack and Blackjack fighting. Then Ailann got kicked out as Archon, and we were cut off from the power grid. Also, I had amnesia and I couldn’t even remember Tara. Basically, it sucked.
Rand: I never wanted to experience anything like that again – and then we did. It was partly the telepathic attack, but partly this whole qualifying quest achievements thing, which I don’t pretend to understand. I think it was stupid and sadistic.
Chase: I dunno. I mean, why not? I can’t pretend to know what’s going on in the Big Guy’s antennae.
Rand: But we’re the Big Guy, as you say.
Chase [shrugs]: Crappy things happen. A lot. But you know, good things happen, too. Like closing my eyes when another emanation is kissing Tara. Like a bluedog and a coke. Like hanging out with Balin.
Daniel: It’s tough being a new emanation, though. And the Great Hatch – so many at once. They’re never going to have that experience of being the shiny new guy, the immediate focus of our attention, of Tara’s attention. It surprises me that I and I couldn’t figure out a better way to do it.
Damn straight, Daniel. It isn’t just a matter of moral support. The old ones seem like so much more than we are.
I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you so badly.
I’d better join a clade.
Cord comes to see me. « You’ve been looking at the wholos, » he says. « What do you think? »
I lay one on the table. It’s the latest episode of Tarlach’s show. « Cu’enashti reveal secrets of their first pollination, » I quote. « It’s pornography disguised as information. Hardly surprising that Tarlach is a wealthy man. »
« I think it’s art, » says Cord.
« I’d rather call it porn. Porn sells much better. »
Cord laughs. « You’re a real cynic. »
« I’d prefer to think of myself as a connoisseur. »
« Maybe you should join Club V/E. I would myself, but Beat already got me an invite to Club Rendezvous. »
« You could do both. Isn’t both better? »
« I just want to be with Beat. »
I’m disappointed. I hope it doesn’t show. Cord is gorgeous, and we obviously have mutual affinities.
« That’s…that’s actually why I’m here, » he continues. « The wholo was a pretense. »
Oh? Is this supposed to be one of those situations where I’ve already checked out his branch, but I pretend I haven’t?
« Look, Beat is…he’s…how do I say this? Harsh brought him lovers – Constantine and Cüinn. I want… »
« You want to outface Harsh, but you don’t have the faintest clue how to go about it, » I finish. « Are you inviting me to a threesome with Beat? »
Cord nods silently.
Well, I’ll go for that. It’s not Daniel, by a long shot. Nevertheless, Beat is the 41st emanation, I’m the 92nd. Experience counts for something. And Cord is hot, and I really want to get laid.
But I can play this. « Can you get me an invitation to join Club Rendezvous? » I ask. Meaning, can you get me an in with Sloane, the next best thing to Daniel?
« Beat could, » Cord says. « Why don’t we go up to my apartment? »
I’m at a disadvantage. My home is so far away; I’ve never even seen it. Templeton says that finding a more convenient way to Ophionia is a priority. He’s asked Cyrus to work on it.
Cord’s apartment is mostly a studio. In other words, full of toys, and a part of me wants to explore. Maybe later. « You don’t mind if we…record this? »
« I expected it, » I reply. « Besides, it’s all recorded in the branches anyway. All you have to do is edit. »
« You mean use stock footage? » says Cord. « That’s more of a curator than an auteur. Leave that to Tommy and Darius. »
Cord leads me to the bedroom. Beat is there, but he’s not alone. Cyrus and Pallav are kneeling naked in a corner. Lorcan is sitting on the bed. Next to him is Sloane.
Lorcan grins at me. « Well, you wanted to join the club, didn’t you? »
I look back at Cord, who is staring at his feet. « Sorry, » he murmurs apologetically.
« Look, kid, you emanated alone, » says Lorcan. « You don’t have hatchmates to claim or protect you. It’s social death. So we’ve set up this little scene for you here. »
« You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to, » says Sloane.
« You should be grateful, » says Lorcan.
« Of course. Do you think I’m stupid? I’m just wondering what’s in it for you. »
« No, no, no, » says Tarlach entering the room. « You’re supposed to act appalled. »
« Look who’s here, » mutters Lorcan. « Is there any scene you won’t crash? »
« Lorcan’s another one, like that Merrick, who gets off on being thought of as evil. He’ll enjoy it more if you pretend to be a terrified virgin. »
« So you want me to play terrified but aroused at the same time. I can handle that. » Damn straight I can. Sloane is watching me. I can hardly keep from shaking.
« We’ve recruited Cyrus and Pallav to play a part in your degradation, » says Lorcan. « They’ve been groomed to be eager slaves who want you reduced to their level. All right boys, strip the stripling. »
The two of them are easy to read. It’s a game to Cyrus. He wants to have fun, to make his friends happy. But Pallav is serious. Being a submissive is getting him off. A quick peek into his branch reveals something further: Pallav is in love with Lorcan.
If it’s so obvious to me, then there’s no way Lorcan doesn’t know. Fuck, this is a game, and it’s barely about me at all. I’m being used.
Fuck this. They want a show? They’ll get a performance.
« Hold him down on the bed, » says Lorcan. Cyrus lightly grasps my wrists, lifting them above my head. Pallav grabs me roughly by the ankles. It’s Pallav I fight against. He’s small and light, but so scrappy, and he wants to impress Lorcan. I fight it enough to convince him before I let him push my feet towards my buttocks, my knees poked upward, legs spread apart.
The door opens again. It’s Harsh…and Tara.
« Well, look at this little scene, » she says. « What do you think you’re doing? » My mind races – did Harsh really blow us in? To screw Cord? Is their rivalry that bad?
You really need to check out other people’s branches, chatburls Tarlach.
« Fucking him with a chocumber, » says Lorcan. « I got the idea from Merrick. »
« Hmph. Respecting the letter of the law, but not the spirit, » says Tara. « All right, Harsh. I’ll grant your petition, just to knock Lorcan down a peg or two. Beat has my permission to fuck whomever he likes tonight. »
Lorcan grins. « So, you’ve come back to our side, Harsh? »
« There are advantages to belonging to two clades. Honestly, I thought it was a little high-handed of Ailann not to send any representation to the culture fair. If getting Beat laid will give Club Rendezvous an edge, why not? »
I completely misjudged him. Now I see what Tarlach meant. Sometimes understanding outweighs privacy. And sometimes you need understanding to know when privacy is important.
« Are you okay with this? » asks Beat. « Because when I get into it, I can get a little carried away. »
« I’ve been on Tommy’s channel, » I reply. « I’m not completely naïve. »
« Here, » says Harsh. « This will make it better for you. »
I was so focused on Tara’s entrance that I hadn’t noticed Harsh setting down a pastry box when he came in. He brought dessert from the café. He thought of everything.
« I am the embodiment of sensual ecstasy, » he says with a smile. « You know, I was just appointed president of the Sex Worker’s Association. »
« I knew it, » says Lorcan. « Those professional guilds are another way to troll for pollen partners. Chand is as much of a pervert as Tarlach. »
« Chand and I are perfectly healthy, » says Tarlach. « But if it increases your enjoyment, go ahead and call it perversion. »
Cyrus holds my arms while Harsh forces Beat’s dessert between my lips – nau’gsh pandowdy, so spicy and warm. As the nau’gshtamine hits, I can feel what he wants to do to me. And everyone is going to watch it. Literally everyone – there’s no way Tommy won’t promote this.
Harsh holds up a plate full of my dessert. « We should all have some of this. It’s called a nau’gsh punsch-roll. It’s a nau’gsholi paste used like marzipan, stuffed with nau’gsh wine-soaked cookie crumbs. Then it’s dipped in chocumber. »
« That sounds absolutely delicious, » says Tara, taking a bite and handing the plate to Lorcan. They’re passing it around, passing me around. There’s nothing they won’t see or feel. Complete media immersion.
« Do it, » I tell him. « Do me. »
Cord moves closer. I can feel him now because he’s riding with Beat. Harsh made the opposite choice, riding with me, feeling what it’s like for me to be taken by Beat. And Pallav is watching, watching me, watching Lorcan. I can feel the unsteadiness of his breath. I’m in the love triangle between Beat, Harsh and Cord. I’m in the power struggle between Lorcan and Pallav. And Tara and Sloane are watching me.
I close my eyes, and I see energy moving through water, blue and green and yellow. I can do this. I can be whatever is needed. My body arches. I’m beautiful. I was made to be this way. Of course. The green sparks have ego issues. How could I ever be alone with no one to appreciate me?
Beat is wild. And he’s trying to impress Cord. He doesn’t need to impress Harsh, though. Harsh and Beat are that close.
I wish I had a lover like that, Pallav whispers.
« Brat, » says Lorcan, pulling him away from me. « Beat can handle the likes of him. Suck my dick. »
« That’s not a bad idea, » says Sloane. Cyrus ducks quickly out of the way as he straddles me, shoving his cock into my mouth. Don’t you think I know what you want? he says. You’re just as transparent as Pallav.
There’s no point in resisting these old ones. None at all.