As Related by His Most Reverend Excellency Archbishop Seth del Eden’d
The moment the explorers of the east return, we are called before a tribunal.
« Only six left, » says Ailann. « What happens to those who chose to adventure is left to happenstance. But it is the imperative of every branch in the pleroma to rectify this division amongst us. Driscoll, Darius and Seth, report your progress. »
« None, » says Driscoll.
« Huh? » says Darius.
« I have been investigating several possibilities, » I state. « #38, “Make an alchemical potion,” for one. Or #54, “Follow the advice of a divination.” Or even #71: “Obtain a familiar.” »
« You can have my metals, » says Rand. « You would only have to collect four more. »
« We hung a dart board in the Moth and Lamp, » Tommy suggests.
« And there’s a strip club in the Yggdrasil Tower, » says Beat. « You could try pole dancing. »
« Wait, there’s a what in the Yggdrasil Tower? » says Ailann.
« I think you for your kind consideration, » I reply. « This is something I need to accomplish in my own way. But rest assured, it is my intent to fulfil the directive with a pure and faithful heart, in a sincere act which reflects my own unique nature. »
« Fair enough, » says Ailann. « And what about you, Darius? »
« Oh, okay. »
« And Driscoll? »
« Whatever, » he says. « I’m leaving now. »
His attitude is rather shocking. Truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my lack of success. But I’d rather my achievement be genuine and hard-won. « You should leave your metals for someone who emanates during a crisis, » I tell Rand.
« That’s not a bad idea, » he says.
« I’ve a better idea, » says Ailann. « It will be easy enough to obtain the four remaining metals here. Rand, keep one of them, and give away the others. When the time comes, that new emanation will be able to collect the metals by asking around to get them. Thus the achievement can be accomplished both easily and fairly. »
« I’m going to get back to work, » I assure them.
It isn’t as easy as I made it sound. I had immediately begun to research alchemical potions upon my return to New Merenis. I soon discovered that the ancient conception of alchemy had nothing to do with real alchemy – the transmutation of matter through the agency of nul-energy – at all. It was 1/3 chemistry, 1/3 esoteric spirituality, and 1/3 fraud. And since the study was composed entirely of trade secrets, it was masked by a language making it near-impossible to tell which was which.
And what constituted a “potion”? My first thought was to attempt to synthesize Alchemical Mercury, but strictly speaking, that might be considered a liquid rather than a potion. From the description in some texts, it might be mercury in a vaporized form. Then again, it might be a metaphor or some type of energy. “Aqua vitae,” the water of life, looked more promising until I found out that the secret which produced this life-enhancing substance was merely the distillation of alcohol.
Alchemical potions, it seems, exist only in dungeon-based RPGs.
As I pondered the subject, I became unfortunately sidetracked. Thinking about real alchemy made me wonder why nul-energy could be used to alter or create matter, but when that energy attained consciousness, it didn’t interact with matter at all. I went to consult Cüinn.
« Nul-energy interacts with matter, » he told me. « Nul-consciousness interacts with consciousness. You might as well ask why electrons are negatively charged. »
But at what point does nul-energy become nul-consciousness? Consciousness implies self-awareness. The Ashvattha emanations were already self-aware when they joined our collective. The Goliath emanations were not. We knew only impulse and yearning until Atlas sent Thomas to us as a template of sentience.
Atlas chose us, taking an enormous risk for the chance of an enormous benefit. What would have happened to us if we had been ignored, rejected? Perhaps we’d have joined with another tree on Dolparessa. Perhaps we would’ve stayed in the nul-universe. Perhaps our complicated union would’ve collapsed, and we would’ve gone our separate ways.
Yet I find it inconceivable that Aran would have allowed any of those things to happen – which is precisely why we were chosen. Atlas put its trust in a being as stubborn as itself.
The point of all this being that I’d made no progress on my achievement.
I decide further research is necessary. When I arrive, Driscoll is in the branch library. He is keeping up on the most current gossip by reading the most recent chapters in everybody’s books.
« Why don’t you just do one of the achievements? » I ask.
« Why don’t you? I wouldn’t lower myself to doing something beneath my dignity just to complete a stupid requirement. But don’t let anyone know that I was here. »
Driscoll is more impossible to understand than alchemy.
Besides the branch library, the New Merenis public library has a remarkable collection of books – all the more remarkable considering that public libraries throughout the Domha’vei are holographic, and the only books outside of private collections are in the Matriarchal Library on Skarsia.
There is an enormous section of magical and alchemical texts – in fact, they are all original, mostly handwritten, copies. I suppose I can see the point. Electronic texts tend to lose a bit of that sacred je ne sais quoi.
I notice a set of books bound in opalescent blue-green leaf-leather. They are entitled The Hedgemegeton.
I eagerly pull the final tome from the shelves. It flips open to a chapter entitled ‘On obtaining a most efficacious familiar.’ I am about to chortle with triumph when I see the chapter following is ‘On alchemical potions.’
This book is a priceless treasure of wisdom!
But it is the next chapter which grabs and holds my attention: ‘On daemonic contracts.’
Daemonic contracts? Do such things as daemons exist? One supposes that if the Mover is capable of assuming the mantle of a god, then devils might as well be created? But is such a thing wise?
One will never know without investigation. The chapter in question begins, “The daemonic contract must be written in blood thusly: I, _______, do contract myself to ________. I will avail myself of all his powers until he claims them, and claim his service, companionship and loyalty thereafter. In return I swear to him my sexual servitude and the flame of my unending desire.”
A sex magickal contract? But then again, why did I expect anything else?
It sounds completely sketchy, something I should avoid like Phytophthora cinnamomi. But then again, the risks must be weighed against the consequences. Someone must complete item #44: “Write a contract in blood.” And, as has been amply discussed, it is consonant with the nature of the Mover to take risks.
However, it is a useless contract unless one knows the name of a particular demon. The problem is not insoluble. Like most grimoires of its type, it includes correspondence tables and descriptions of daemonic servitors.
Beneath the template for the contract is written “Those who seek for gain and greed will face the consequences of their actions. Only the purest of motivations will see success.”
A dire warning indeed. I recall that it is usual to contract with a daemon for a particular purpose: to succeed in a legal matter, to find gold, to gain forbidden knowledge. Even the last, the best of motivations, is one of personal gain. But if I remain detached from the pleroma, I deprive not only myself, but also my fellow branches. Surely Ailann would want me to do this thing for the commonweal?
Then I shall let the choice be left to fate! If I choose by lot, not by attribute, then I cannot be accused of selecting a being of power useful to me. The second volume is a compendium describing the powers of individual daemons and their attributes. I locate the table of contents, squeeze my eyes shut, place my finger at random. It reads “Merrick – section 42.”
Well, I won’t even look further until this unholy pact is made. I need parchment and a razor. And will the library allow me to check the book out? I’m sure that bloodletting in the special collections is discouraged.
Alas, as an unrecognized emanation, I have no library privileges!
However, it takes but little ingenuity. There is pencil and paper. I copy the language of the contract by hand, then retreat to my study in the basement of Goliath.
It is not as easy as one might think to write a contract in blood. Nevertheless.
“His Most Reverend Excellency Archbishop Seth del Eden’d. 34th to emanate, 76 in the color scale, resonates to 383. 1.811 meters tall, cock size 16.75 cm when erect, apparent age 37. Archbishop, official heretic and demonologist. Totem is Ceiba pentandra, the ceiba or kapok, fixed star is Suhail al Muhlif, the glorious star of the oath, also called Tiān shè yī, first star of the celestial altar. Esoteric symbol is the Minchiate trump La Casa del Diavolo, the devil’s house or the church. Dessert is Skarsian archbishop slices with javajuice crème and mooniberri-nau’gsh puree. Function is exegetic gravity, proto-conscious tendency is curiosity, designated Arcane. Blazon is per fess bevilled plum and argent, to chief sigil of the archbishop, argent, to base a sha couchant, plum.”
« Well done! » says Ailann.
« And it only cost me my soul, » I reply wearily.
« It sounds more like it cost you your body, » says Lorcan. « But since you’ve got yourself a friend with benefits, you might as well look up the benefits. »
There is a knock at my door. I answer to find a bespectacled penguin. « Excuse me, sir, » it says. « Your reserve item from the library has arrived. »
He hands me all three volumes of The Hedgemegeton. To my surprise, the chapter on daemonic contracts has vanished. Perhaps that’s for the best. One can only guess what terrifying forces my act has unleashed.
The first volume consists mainly of the correspondence tables necessary to all acts of evocation and divination. The table of general correspondences is well-nigh identical to the correspondence charts of emanations received by Malachi.
« Hahaha, » says Lorcan. « Ahahaha. »
Merrick is number 42. Totem manchineel, star Zosma, color Cu’ensali blossom…
My sap freezes within me. He’s pink.
Pink.
« This is rich! » chortles Lorcan. « Well, until he emanates, you’ve got his powers, whatever that means. And when he does, bring him around. I’m sure Sloane will be back by then. »
Further Curious Tales of the Chevalier’s Arbor: Trust Fall