Revenge, says Cillian. It’s a beautiful thing.
I don’t like it, says Evan. I and I should be above petty things like that.
It’s not a question of ethics, says Sloane. It’s a question of utility. Although I must admit that a bit of revenge can be quite satisfying under the right circumstances.
I know what he’s talking about.
Maybe we shouldn’t admit to that incident, says Mickey. After all, we broke the Silence.
Tara broke the Silence forever, says Ailann. There’s no harm in telling the story now. Besides, the Silence was never quite as silent as it was supposed to be. Where do you think all the legends came from?
I agree with Ailann. It’s a story that makes me feel strong, and I need that. Tarlach’s story took all my strength to write. And there’s an additional measure of revenge just in the telling.
I’m alone in a diplomatic suite at Court Emmere. It’s the night before my wedding, and I’m justifiably nervous. Protocol dictates that I pretend to be happy. In reality, I’m ecstatic, so I’m really pretending to pretend to be happy. After tomorrow, I’ll be at Tara’s side for all official functions. I’ll share the same chambers with her. I’ll breathe her air. The fortunate particles which have touched the insides of her lungs will recirculate, caressing my alveoli. All I have to do is get through this miserable party, which I’m given to understand involves a lot of alcohol, a ceremonial cake, and a form of dancing called Canadian Ballet. I pride myself on my grace as a dancer, and I hope I’m not expected to know the steps. I couldn’t find any references as to how Canadian Ballet differed from the French or Italian schools; I actually asked the chief librarian on Skarsia to search the Matriarch’s enormous collection of old texts. She found nothing.
It has to be some kind of Volparnian travesty. Due to their reliance on vidding instead of text for keeping records, their version of history is primarily an oral history. And as studies have proven, it has been very vulnerable to the phenomenon known as telephongamin. Just don’t even try to tell them that karaoke was not the means that Mithras used to persuade Santa to release the sun from his bag.
There’s a knock at the door. I’m not expecting anyone. Before I can open it, my visitor takes the liberty of entry.
It’s Tara’s uncle, Cetin Urhu, soon to be ex-Regent of Sideria.
“I thought that you and I should have a little talk, son,” he says. “Just to clarify your position a bit.”
He helps himself to a drink from one of my decanters. He sips, grimaces and spits the mouthful back into his glass. “What is this? I’ve never tasted anything so vile.”
“It’s an herbal tincture I use to mitigate my anemia. If you had asked, I would have recommended the other decanter.” Actually, it’s a very fine brandy spiked with RootRiot. Unfortunately, he probably hasn’t absorbed enough to poison him.
Annoyed, he slams the glass on the table. “Listen to me, boy, we both know what kind of man you really are. A festival exchange from a minor noble house, seeking out his fortune by using his pretty face and his fine manners.”
“Is that what you think of me, Sir?” It figures.
“I’ve been Regent of Sideria for 33 years now, and I’ve no intention of retiring to a country palace. I’m used to power and authority, and I’m not giving it up because the Matriarch, on some insane whim, decided to let my disagreeable, drug-addled slut of a niece divorce her piece of shit husband.”
“I’ve never known the Matriarch to act from whimsy,” I say mildly.
“Listen here, boy, Tara isn’t fit to rule, and you know it. The question is whether you’re going to go down with her when she crashes, or whether you’re going to have a parachute.”
“Is it?”
“Don’t play dumb. You’re not an idiot, like Merkht. You wouldn’t do something so stupid as to try to assassinate her. Not when it’s so easy to tempt her back into her decadent ways. Wyrd Elma is always trying to get her to take Gyre again. Encourage that. Then introduce her to something harder – maybe Black Opium-27. And keep me in the loop about her antics. Everyone has secrets. The more you give me that I can use, the more I’ll take care of you when it’s finished. And it will finish, one way or the other. I will rule again. I think our talk here is done. If you’re smart, you won’t repeat it to anyone.”
He turns to leave as abruptly as he came. “Excuse me, Sir, but I’m afraid our talk is not done.”
He ignores me. I put my arm on the door, barring his exit. He wheels to face me, his face twisted in fury.
And meets Sloane.
“It’s been a while, milord,” says Sloane. “I wonder if you remember. I remember you. I served you for a dozen years.”
Oh, he remembers. It’s difficult to forget someone when your niece puts a life-sized stone effigy of him in the center of her garden. Urhu turns a pale shade of gray, then tries to force the door. Sloane grabs him by the back of his collar and tosses him like a doll across the room. He hits the wall and sticks to it.
The look on his face is priceless – I don’t know whether he’s more astonished or terrified. “My memory is very good,” Sloane continues. “As you said, everyone has secrets, and I know quite a few of yours.”
“What are you?” Urhu gasps. “Surely we can reach some sort of understanding.”
“I’d say a ghost, but that’s not quite it. How about a guardian angel?” He sweeps his arms dramatically upward, the surface of his skin burning away in blue light.
Urhu finally realizes what he’s dealing with. He’s heard stories of the mothmen, but before now, he always thought of them as a primitive Dolparessan superstition. Then I and I folds his arms, packing himself back into the shape of a man.
Daniel.
“I think the time for reaching an understanding passed on the day you had me thrown off Starbright Mountain,” he says, smiling his lopsidedly innocent smile. But in this light, for the first time ever, it looks a little sinister.
“Do you know why you’re stuck up there?” he continues. “Simple alchemy. Sloane changed the backs of your shirt and trousers into the same kind of mineral as the stone wall and fused them together. It’s an easy trick. Like making the metal in your belt-buckle really hot.”
Cetin Urhu yelps, more in surprise than pain.
“I could turn the rest of your shirt to acid. That might be fun. Or I could just hasten the hardening of your arteries. You know, politics are stressful. A country palace might be very good for your health.”
Suddenly Urhu is on the floor. When he scrambles to his feet, I’m back.
“And now our talk is done,” I say, smiling pleasantly. “If you’re smart, you won’t repeat it to anyone.”
That was classic, says Cillian.
And very stylish, too, says Driscoll. I applaud all three of you for a remarkable performance.
And fortunately, I was not called upon to dance.
The Canadian Ballet, says Tommy, is not Volparnian. It’s lap dancing. You were looking in the wrong sorts of texts.
Like water ballet performed while doing laps? The party wasn’t a pool party, though. And the cake was disappointing. It was hollow, and a woman jumped out. Some kind of practical joke.
Tommy looks exasperated. She was the lap dancer. She was supposed to straddle your lap and basically dry-hump you.
Ew, I say.
Ew, says Evan.
It’s just a fertility rite, says Tarlach. Humans find that kind of thing stimulating.
Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Tara to do it? asks Cuinn.
The logic is irreproachable.
Why don’t you ask her? says Davy.
All right, I say. But what story should I tell next?
Jamey has a request, says Dermot.
Jamey has been gesturing towards an enormous chest of drawers in the corner of the room, but I don’t understand what he wants.
Oh, I get it, says Wynne. Remember that notepad you found?
The one I discovered when I was moving back into the palace? Oh, that’s a great idea. It’s from when Tara was a girl.
I pull it from the drawer. There is a collective sigh. It’s much more numinous than that scientific article. Tara had used it often. The pattern of her life is all over it.
Find that exam where she talks about the nau’gsh, says Hurley.
I thumb through the files. The one they want is called “History and Culture of the Domha’vei: Mid-term Exam.” I think Tara was twelve at the time she wrote this:
Question 1: Name the Five Nations in the alliance which colonized the Domha’vei. Why did they leave the Earth?
Afrika, Araby, Haudenostan, Kawaii and Keltika. They left after the Wars of Centralization for three reasons. The first is that CenGov made useless differences illegal. Useless differences are things like hairstyle or painting your hovercraft a different color. Useful differences are differences like intelligence and athletic skill. CenGov says useless differences divide people, so if you live on Earth, there are only five colors of hovercar that you can pick. That way, everyone is equal except for the elites who are cybridized. They are more equal than everybody else, like Orwell said, which really means they are pigs. The second reason is that CenGov made history illegal. They say that those who remember history are doomed to copycat it. They have obviously never had to eat Volparnian sushi and gravy. Also any art that referred to nations was either censored or banned. Also, religion was outlawed. The third reason is that the FNA lost the war, and they were poor losers.
Question 2: Describe the Five Nations, naming two major cultural achievements for each.
Afrikans came from the southern continent of Afrika. Because it was so hot there, they invented the air-conditioner and also take-out food so they wouldn’t have to spend every night in the kitchen. Arabians came from the northern part of Afrika, and also from Turkey and Italy. They invented Turkish coffee and also spaghetti, but they had to eat at home until they were discovered by the Afrikans, who introduced the concept of the franchise. The Haudenostani conquered Amerika, and wrote the Law Tablets of Hammurabi Lake. They founded a great capital at Washington, and their First Lady lived in an all-white building called the Longhouse. The concept of Matriarchy comes from the Haudenostani. Kawaii is an island in the Pacifika Ocean. Its name means “cute.” Kawaiians were known for their refined culture, such as Hello Kitty and karaoke. The Kelts started out in France, but moved to Wales, Scotland, Ireland and Boston. They invented the harp and basketball. Because of the Kelts, we get baked beans in our St. Patrick’s Day baskets. St. Patrick’s Day is one of the most important ancient holidays because it’s when St. Patrick took all the snakes from Ireland to Rome. It was two days after the Ides of March, and Patrick knew that the snake is a symbol of rebirth. He was helping Julius Caesar become God.
All of this is from Merkht’s history vidpad. It’s all wrong, too. If you go to the Matriarch’s library, you can read the real texts we stole from the sedition repositories on Earth. We even have some books that are thousands of years old. But most Siderians are too stupid to figure out how a book works. I gave Lady Madonna a book, and she tried to give it a voice command. When that didn’t work, she kept poking at the cover, trying to get a touchpad. It’s worse on Volparnu. Most of them can’t even read. Merkht can’t read. He says he doesn’t have to read – he can hunt. I say I don’t have to hunt – I can go to franchises, thanks to the cultural achievements of the Afrikans. I really don’t want to live on Volparnu when I grow up. Although I kind of like the St. Patrick’s Day thing – snakes are awesome.
I don’t even understand why we bothered to bring all the texts from Earth if no one is going to read them. Why doesn’t the Matriarch make the aristos from the other worlds come study there, like she does the ones with Skarsian bloodlines? She could do it like she made the City of Eter’rica pay its back tributes. Just turn off the air-conditioning for a week, and they’d figure out how pages work.
Question 3:What is cybridization? What are its advantages and disadvantages? Where and why is it illegal in the Domha’vei?
Cybridization is the process of replacing a human body’s organic (grown) material with fabricated material. The advantage of cybridization is that it is fast. If you lose a leg, in the Domha’vei it can take weeks to even months to regrow or reattach it and get it to work right, depending on the kind of accels you use. On Earth, they just slap on a new one, and you’re good to go. Also, you never have to take stupid tests like this one, because you can just stick a chip in your head instead of learning. The disadvantage is that you end up with a fake leg instead of a real one which is gross and also heretical. And if they get mad at you, they take away your chips, and then you’re stupid. For medical stuff, cybridization and genework end up about the same in terms of effectiveness, as long as you don’t mind thinking about all the nanobots crawling around inside of you. I really don’t understand why Earthers have lungs full of nanobots and then smoking is illegal anyway. Also, all of the chips and nanobots and stuff are programmed, which means that once you use them, you never know if it’s really you anymore, of if CenGov has taken over. Cybridization is illegal in the Domha’vei because the way the gods made humans is holy, and if we make changes, we have to use the methods the gods used and not heretical ones. Also cybridization is expensive, and leads to people with money becoming elite. That’s backwards. A good government chooses the people it wants to be aristos and then gives them the money they need. Cybrids are illegal everywhere except Eirelantra, where they can receive temporary visas. This is for diplomatic reasons, meaning that even though they are freaks, sometimes we have to talk to them.
Question 4: What is the origin of the old Skarsian language? Give one advantage and one disadvantage of using Old Skarsian for political communiques. Why has it fallen out of use? What are the old gods and why do we worship them?
The Five Nations made up Skarsian because they couldn’t agree on a language, and they didn’t want to use GalacticStandard. The disadvantage is that it is hard to spell. The advantage is that all of those apostrophes look cool. It was popular when the Domha’vei was isolated, but when other systems got colonized, we realized that they couldn’t understand a single stupid thing we said.
The old gods are the gods that came from Earth. It’s legal to worship any god that can be found in the ancient texts. They are really all the same anyway since they are all facets of Mithras, the god of Earth’s sun, just like the Archon is the god of the Domha’vei. It’s important to worship the old gods because they made humans. It’s important to worship the Archon because we’re here now.
Question 5: What is the difference between indigenous and transported life? Give an example of each. Why is each kind of life important to Skarsian culture?
Indigenous life was here when the Five Nations got here. Transported life is life they brought in the gene banks. An example of indigenous life is the nau’gsh. An example of transported life is the larch. Transported life is important because it provided food our ancestors knew would be safe. But it ruins the ecosystem. Most indigenous Skarsian species are now extinct or in nature preserves. After the 4th Matriarch wrecked Skarsia with her policy of progressive terraforming, she suddenly decided that indigenous species were important on Dolparessa. Maybe she felt really bad about everything she killed.
On Dolparessa, transported life will only grow on a farm or in a city. If I plant a larch tree in my garden, it will grow. If I plant it in a forest, it will not grow. Scientists say this is because the nau’gsh are a resource sink and the transported crops can’t get any nutrients. I think it is because the larch is a stupid tree. One larch and there goes the neighborhood.
Indigenous life is important because humans don’t really own these worlds. The worlds in the Domha’vei really belong to the nau’gsh. It’s much better that way. Nau’gsh are better than humans. I spoke to Merkht for ten minutes, and he said fourteen stupid things. I counted. My nau’gsh on Starbright Mountain has never said one stupid thing in the past five years.
We had to wait for Mickey for that, says Cillian.
Don’t fuck with me, mate, says Mickey.
I don’t get it, says Davy. Why didn’t she get an A on that exam?
Speaking of history, says Mickey, Cuinn and I started a timeline. We thought that if you’re going to skip all over the place, at least our readers should have a map to help follow the story. Take a look:
CE 3554 – Tara del D’myn is born, daughter of Chulain, Emperor of Skarsia and Desada, Battlequeen of Kyrae. She is identified as carrying the genetic markers known as “The Blood of the Matriarchs,” which put her in line for the succession. She is given the title Marquesa of Dolparessa.
CE 3559 – Tara’s parents die under mysterious circumstances. Her uncle, Cetin Urhu, is appointed regent, and custody of the child is shared by him and the 5th Matriarch. Tara will spend her time split between Court Emmere, her father’s summer palace on Dolparessa, and Skarsia, where she is given the standard education for highborn girls – hard sciences and math, an absolute immersion in the history and traditions of Earth that the Five Nations were so fanatical about preserving, and battle training.
CE 3560 – Tara and Christolea, the other bearer of the Blood, are brought before the Matriarch’s Prophetess, Wyrd Elma. Elma predicts that Tara will become Matriarch, but at a cost: “The one who loves you to the throne will raise you; twice will he fall, thrice will he die afore you claim the Staff.”
CE 3561 – Tara plants a tree on Starbright Mountain. From then on, whenever she is resident on Dolparessa, she visits it on a daily basis.
CE 3564 – Tara is betrothed to Merkht of Volparnu by her uncle. Merkht is in line to become Tenzain, which will mean their sons would stand to inherit the double-thrones of Sideria and Volparnu. Unfortunately, this will disqualify Tara from being both Empress of Sideria and Matriarch, as women on Volparnu are forbidden to own property or hold political power. Not surprisingly, her uncle and the Matriarch are quite satisfied with this agreement.
CE 3566 – Tara begins puberty. Her nau’gsh, Ashtara, begins to develop a rudimentary consciousness.
CE 3570 – The night before the Nau’gsh Festival, Tara writes the traditional tanzaku and leaves it at the foot of her tree. In response, Ashtara goes into bloom, and undergoes the grand jeté – the emanation of his flower face, Daniel. Tara meets Daniel, and they become lovers.
CE 3571 – Tara attends her first Nau’gsh Festival with Daniel. Her uncle finds out about them. He has Daniel killed before her eyes. Accompanied by Lady Madonna, Tara is taken to Volparnu for her marriage. In his mothman form, Ashtara attempts to follow her, but is cast back to the foot of his tree when he reaches the Dolparessan thermopause, the limit of his range.
CE 3572 –Tara and Merkht fight constantly. He attempts to beat her and is shocked when she fights back. She resumes the combat-training exercises of her girlhood. Merkht’s brother, Ta’al Erich, makes advances. He is the power behind the throne, and sees her as a like spirit, but she is repulsed by him. Ashtara has doubled in size, and is now able to travel planetside. He emanates Sloane Redmond, who seeks employment with Tara’s uncle on the logic that she may be allowed to visit the court at Vuernaco.
CE 3573 – Tara aborts her first pregnancy. She experiments with Gyre, which causes her to have visions. Her public drunkenness and outspoken nature humiliate her husband. He agrees to let her build the Poison Garden, to give her something acceptable to occupy her. She wins the sacred karaoke competition at the Solstice Celebration.
CE 3574 – Tara experiments with developing psychoactive drugs from her garden. She makes pin money by selling them. She aborts her second and third pregnancies.
CE 3575 – Tara develops the formula for RootRiot. Merkht’s cousin Nhaskt makes advances, which Tara disdains. He tries to force her, but she defeats him roundly, and he is humiliated to be beaten by a woman. He hires a gang of outlaws with the express instructions to rape her and scar her face. Instead, she kills all of them, and poisons Nhaskt, who dies in a particularly unpleasant fashion. From that point on, everyone stays the hell out of her way. She wins the Solstice karaoke contest again.
CE 3576 –Utilizing the measure of freedom she has bought, Tara secretly markets RootRiot.
CE 3577 – Another abortion, another karaoke victory.
CE 3580 – Tara has made a small fortune from RootRiot, which she keeps in numbered Eirelantran accounts. She initiates the building of a second factory, with an attached state-of-the-art product development department, RR-2 Labs, which are managed by an AI under her direct control. The products being developed are actually illegal and quasi-legal drugs that she synthesizes.
CE 3584 – Tara forms an alliance with Johannon, CenGov attaché to Volparnu. Johannon reports the accuracy of Tara’s visions to his superiors, attracting the attention of D.F. Traeger, a researcher on the Dalgherdia science station. Wanting more access to study Tara’s abilities, Traeger convinces Merkht that her “infertility” is due to Volparnu’s hostile climate. Merkht refuses to allow Tara to return to Dolparessa, but a compromise is reached where she is allowed to live on Sideria, in the palace at Vuernaco, under her uncle’s watchful eye. She meets Slone Redmond, her uncle’s Master of Horse, a man she describes as having “the kindest eyes she’s ever known.”
And we can go on from there, says Cuinn. Our thinking was to insert it right at the beginning, in a preface or something.
Absolutely not, Dermot protests. The narrative has grown organically. There’s a subtle logic to the way the leaves link to the branches. And you’re also insulting the intelligence of the reader.
This narrative is a uniquely Cu’enashti work of art, says Driscoll. A timeline is inappropriate. We don’t experience time as a rigidly linear prospect, as humans do.
I’m on the fence, says Evan. As it stands, the narrative has some really beautiful moments. But it’s in need of editing. Patrick can’t decide whether to write about himself in first or third person. He can’t even keep the tenses consistent. It’s conventional to write one’s memoirs in the past tense, but he uses past and present seemingly at random.
Past tense is a distancing mechanism, says Dermot. But we don’t experience memories that way. Memories are alive. That’s why the grandfathers and grandmothers can keep going.
I’ve been using the past tense for when I’m telling a story that references another story, I say. Mostly.
That’s what the past participle is for, says Evan. Human language is remarkably adept at being to pinpoint a location in time.
Which is why we need this timeline, says Cuinn. Humans need to know when they are.
I think we should let Tara decide, says Tommy. When she reads it, she can say if the timeline should be here, or at the beginning, or if we should just take it out.
She could be our editor, says Evan.
Providing she doesn’t dump us after reading chapter eleven, says Ailann.
She isn’t going to dump us, I reply. Not based on Molly’s reaction. Tara hates Molly.
That’s true, says Lugh. It isn’t like she experienced I and I’s consciousness directly.
Besides, says Cuinn, the more I think about it, the more it seems clear that she wouldn’t ever do something so radical. She needs us; we’re indispensable to the state.
So she’ll just pretend to love us while using us for her political needs, says Ailann glumly. And we’ll know it the way we always know what she’s feeling – from her scent, from her heartbeat. We’ll be living a lie.
So instead, we’ll hide things from her. Brilliant strategy.
Well, it is a particularly human strategy, says Tarlach. Humans pretend to be things they are not all the time, for the purpose of interpersonal acceptance. It’s fundamental to social cohesion. The problem is when they start to believe their own lies. Then they need to hire an analyst to come in and sort things out.
Are you saying that I and I cultivated you because we lost our grasp on truth?
In our case, says Tarlach, I don’t think we ever had one.
Truth is relative, even for humans, says Dermot.
That undermines the whole concept of truth, says Cuinn.
Chapter 15: how I discovered deconstruction, says Cillian.
You’re wrong, says Whirljack. For us, truth is absolute. It’s whatever Tara wants it to be.
Exactly, says Sloane. Tara and I were always lovers, right from the start.
Then let’s take Evan’s suggestion. We write; she edits. Instead of second-guessing what she wants, we’ll let her choose what to put in, and what to leave out, and what to change.
There’s a moment of silence, and then a warm ocean of satisfied approval washes over us.
We’ve finally got the point, says Cillian. I and I wants Tara to retcon.