The popularity of bracken in the Domha’vei tends to rise and fall with the popularity of tobacco. Among the aristocracy and the nouveau riche, the consumption of cigarettes and fiddleheads originally served as an indication of the ability to afford expensive anti-carcinogenic regimens. It is a trend recently revived by the class of human immortals under the protection of the Cu’enashti (and unfortunately exacerbated by Prince Driscoll’s flaunting of smoking bans wherever he goes.) In the case of bracken, the invasive nature of the plant has become a problem since it tends to escape beyond fiddlehead farms and into cattle-grazing areas, where it not only causes cancer, but also b-vitamin deficiencies. It also crowds out other species, reducing biodiversity, and the presence of the hormones alpha ecdysone and 20-hydroxyecdysone cause rapid and repeating molting in insects, leading to their deaths. Bracken can be removed by a number of means, but the fact that it simply will not grow in forested areas where it is deprived of light cause the Cu’endhari to regard it in a lackadaisical manner.
Illustration adapted from Martin Cilenšek, Naše Škodljive Rastline, Celovec, 1892.
While Tara was taking her morning shower, I wandered down into the music room. Lost in thought, I absently traced the letters seared into the varnish on the piano cover: “ALL I AM FOR YOU/ WIN YOU PIECE BY PIECE.” It was a message left directly by I and I for Tara. But what was I and I? We’d assumed for so long that we knew: one tree and one mothman who created multiple human personae that were mere vehicles for his energy. It was too simple. We should’ve known it was too simple from the moment Molly directly showed Tara the nature of the pleroma. The development of the grove, the presence of the interior world where we dwelled when unemanated, the relationships we maintained with each other, all these indicated a being of enormous complexity.
What the hell were we?
I stared down the strand at the Atlas Tree. We were sure of one thing: the moment of genesis for I and I occurred when something from the nul-universe came into contact with the newly-sprouted Atlas Tree. At least we were relatively certain of the tree’s history: the direct descendant of a nectarine planted by the explorer Ernst Sider over a millennium ago. That progenitor, Ariel, mutated when it came in contact with nul-energy, becoming the father of the first Cu’endhari. It was centuries before colonists came to Dolparessa; those nau’gsh had used the squirrels as their template for animal life.
« Wait, » said Cüinn. « That means nul-beings must’ve gotten sucked into the squirrel trees, too. »
« That’s it, » said Cillian. « I’m gonna puke. »
« That’s disturbing, » said Evan. « Very disturbing. Do you think that some of them are Cu’ensali? No wonder they’re upset. »
« What kind of being in its right mind would want to be a squirrel? » asked Cillian. « We should burn all those suckers – put them out of their misery. »
« We can’t do that, » said Lugh. « It’s murdering trees again. »
« Also, from our admittedly limited experience, » said Tarlach, « the squirrels seem perfectly happy and are protective of their trees. »
« There are squirrels and there are squirrels, » said Dermot. « Cillian is confusing the nau’gsh squirrels with real squirrels, which is like confusing a Cu’endhari with a human. Nau’gsh squirrels seem to have greater intelligence than ordinary ones. They might even possess some rudimentary sentience. It’s probably best to leave them be. »
Tara came into the room. “There you are,” she said. “You look worried. Do you think the alliance with the MPP will fail?”
I shook my head, looking for the words to broach the subject. My eyes fell on the piano again. It had to be done. “Yesterday, Mauve said some things…things that made us question if we have even the faintest understanding of what we really are.”
It was difficult, so difficult. Haltingly, I tried to explain Mauve’s accusation. “He has a motive to lie,” I said quickly. “If there were any truth to it, surely we’d know?”
“Even if it is true,” said Tara, “My hand is made up of cells. That doesn’t mean I’m anything like an amoeba. Look, if I understand correctly, you weren’t even fully aware until you encountered Atlas. Maybe each emanation originated in a little particle of nul-stuff, but it only became a sentient being when it grew into a branch. If we have to start worrying about the need to consume non-sentient beings in order to survive and grow, then this whole universe is going to starve.”
“But Cüinn,” I stuttered, “Cüinn came up with a theory…”
“Ash,” she replied, “stop doing this to yourself.”
I glanced up at her quickly.
“I know that look,” she said. “I’ll even bet all your leaves are drooping. Do you honestly think that after the Great Reveal, after the shock of learning that my Daniel was a manifestation of the tree I’d planted as a girl, after what Molly showed me and then the whole mess with Goliath, after I died and was reborn inside of your pleroma, and after the weird experiments and the redesign of the mothman, do you honestly believe I’m going to reject you?”
She started moving towards the decanter, then halted and took me by the hand. “Let’s sit and talk this through.”
I know that she was trying to help me, but I didn’t like it. “You don’t have to change your behavior in front of me,” I said. “I’d feel like my n’aashet n’aaverti was compromised if you did.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Tara. “It’s a little early in the morning to start.”
“It’s ten. You usually have a cocktail with breakfast.”
“Sit. It’s better to keep our heads clear.” I gave up and returned to her side. “Cüinn is one thing,” she considered, “but he’s come up with some pretty oddball theories in his time. What do some of the others say? Malachi, for example.”
“Malachi thinks it’s plausible, but he doesn’t know for certain. It’s his opinion that we’re overstating its importance either way.”
“I would tend to agree with him. How about Lens?”
“Lens?”
“Lens might be able to come up with something concrete if he looks over his shoulder. That’s how he saw the moment when Atlas joined with the nul-entity. If you absorbed other entities later, maybe he can see it happening.”
« I’ll try, » Lens agreed. « But where should I look? It would take me a long time to go from the very beginning. »
« Try looking at the moment when Atlas emanated Ailann as Archon, » Cüinn suggested. « If Owen is right, that was a window of opportunity. »
« All right. I can see Jamey intercepting the energy flow to the Staff of the Matriarch. It incinerates his human form – ach, that was painful! Jamey, you are very brave. »
That was nothing, said Jamey, and I’m not being modest. The physical pain I suffered was inconsequential compared to the knowledge that I was protecting Tara, helping her to achieve her destiny.
« I see the roots of Atlas growing, extending like living lightning, » Lens continued. « They go deeper into the soil than any nau’gsh ever has before. Wait – I can sense something beneath the roots. It’s enormous. I think it has been there for a while. Oh, there comes the power surge. So much energy at once – compared to that, the gigantic nul-being is insignificant. »
“It’s true,” I told Tara. “Something was absorbed when I became Archon.”
« A Cu’enashti, » said Aran firmly. « Not a Cu’ensali. Not a Cu’enmerengi. »
« That time, » said Dermot. « You have to look again. Look at all the times we restarted the Aeon. »
« I’m looking at when Tara restarted the Aeon with Chase, » said Lens. « Nothing happened. »
I could feel them exhale.
« I’m looking at when Aran became Archon, » said Lens. « There’s nothing beneath the tree this time either. »
« Probably because nothing had time to form, » said Cüinn. « If Mauve was right about Cu’enashti trees causing proto-consciousness to form, then it makes sense. »
« Wait, » said Lens. « I see it. It’s getting pulled into the energy stream. It’s big, but it isn’t half the size of the other one. It gets stuck in the roots for a moment. Almost like it hesitates? And then, up it goes. »
« It’s true, » said Evan. « It’s horrible. » He starts to cry. Quennel puts his arm around him, trying to soothe him.
« It doesn’t change anything between us, » said Quennel. « You have to know that. »
“It happened more than once.” My eyes were fixed on Tara’s face, waiting for her reaction. We were all terrified: The Atlas emanations were terrified that she would hate us for what we’d done; the others were terrified that she would reject them for not being a part of Atlas.
“I need to talk to Suibhne,” she said abruptly.
Suibhne leaped up like a dolphin grabbing at a piece of tuna. Cillian, on the other hand, exchanged a baleful glance with Aran. I knew what they were thinking: Is Suibhne really the one we want representing us right now?
Nevertheless, I rose from the couch, hands extending above my head. I moved like a mechanical device, like a wooden figure on a cuckoo clock. No, I was not moving, I was being moved.
For a moment, the mothman hovered, gestured at the words on the piano lid. Tara glanced at it, and then nodded at him. He folded himself into Suibhne.
“Hiya!” said Suibhne.
“All right,” said Tara. “Let’s hear your version of the story.”
Aran moaned and shook his head.
“We’re making you a rainbow,” Suibhne replied. “A whole rainbow, not only part of one. It’s so that you can taste all the colors.”
“I see,” said Tara.
« She does? » said Cillian, incredulously. « I sure as compost don’t. »
“Colors and tastes. This has to do with the color space and that weird dessert buffet in the pleroma, doesn’t it?”
Suibhne clapped his hands. “It’s because the apples all taste different. They taste different because they’re exactly the same – but they aren’t.”
“Because they’re physically as similar as nectarines on the same tree, but each is imbued with the energy of an emanation. That energy has no tangible link to matter in this universe, but it exists entwined with the life of the tree – and it’s exactly the same reason why people like me can pass on talents like prophecy and conjuration while being genetically indistinguishable from humans. The nau’gshtamine amide-t is only a catalyst which allows me to access the real energy of the branch. That’s why I experience a resonance with the fruit’s branch of origin even though the same drug is present in every bottle of your juices.”
« That makes sense, » said Cüinn. « It’s an elegant hypothesis. »
« It makes sense in another way, » said Driscoll. « The human eye is capable of distinguishing millions of variations in color. But it can only distinguish 103 variations in pseudo-color. »
« What’s pseudo-color? » asked Tommy.
« Human beings can see Cu’endhari in their nul-energy forms, » said Driscoll. « They call us blue, green and pink, but we don’t radiate light. There’s something about nul-energy which fools the human eye into making that distinction. Pseudo-color, like pseudo-gravity. That’s why the color space makes transitions which seem absurd according to human color-theory. For example, the combination of all pseudo-colors is cyan. The absence of all pseudo-colors is pink. Green in in the middle, more-or-less analogous to photon-based gray. When we start to think about it like that, it’s very symbolic. »
« Um, » said Cüinn, « that isn’t exactly right. Photon-black is the absence of photons. But pink isn’t the absence of nul-energy. It’s a particular phenomenon that arises from an interference pattern between the particles’ bounce and scatter. So the pink seems like a hole, but it isn’t, really. »
“Ash is trying to fill out the whole color-space, isn’t he?” asked Tara.
« That almost makes sense, » said Cillian. « But there’s supposed to be 101 emanations, not 103. »
« But my brother and I only count as one, » said Whirljack, « since we can emanate together or apart. »
« Yeah, » said Blackjack. « In the color space, we’re in the center as grey, and the grid as both black and white. »
« Pink! » said Cüinn « The color space! Look at Chase and Aran and… »
« I’m not pink, » sniffed Driscoll. « Ethan was right – Darius is pink. Use your eyes. All the ones accused of being Cu’ensali aren’t pink at all. They’re salmon or magenta. »
“And the nameless ones on the wheel are the ones he hasn’t found yet,” Tara added.
« Whoa! » said Cillian.
“So this is all part of his design for our destiny. He planned this from the start.”
“Nope,” said Suibhne. “You were doing so good until now, too.”
“Then when did he get the idea?”
“When we met the Goliath emanations. Well, they weren’t really anyone yet. I and I noticed this big clump of energy gathering under the roots of Atlas. It seemed like it wanted to talk to us, so I and I made another whirligig, made it out of Tommy’s rib, which is why it got named Thomas. Thomas showed the Goliath entity what was going on, how you were risking your life to save all the trees on Dolparessa. Oh, and the people too, I guess. Maybe even the squirrels and the larches, but I’m not so sure about that. Anyway, that nul-being, the first thought it had was ‘Let us help.’ So I and I was like, ‘I’ll think about it.’ The nul-being just kept getting bigger and more insistent. Finally, when Ailann became Archon, I and I realized that He needed more, so He let it in.”
“What you’re saying, Suibhne, is really important. The Goliath emanations wanted to join the grove.”
“Geez, of course they did. We wouldn’t absorb anything against its will.”
“Ailann said it happened again,” said Tara. “Was it the same?”
“Not really. The second time, when we met the Ashvattha emanations, everything happened so fast. Whappo! This big, honking proto-consciousness was tangled in our roots. We were surprised. It was surprised. We were especially surprised that they were already thinking. They were thinking about stuff like where they came from, and were there others like them, and what was the point anyway. They were thinking about really stupid stuff, like if they didn’t know what the point was, how could they be sure that they were doing the right thing? So I and I answered that the point was Tara. He explained n’aashet n’aaverti to them, and they were all happy about it, so they hooked up with us.” Suibhne frowned, his manner growing serious. “But you know, Tara, every branch connects to the roots, right? That’s why I’m Ailann and Aran and Balin. It’s not like we’re separate now. If we forget that, we’ll be really fucked up.”
“I know that,” said Tara. “Do you know how I know? It’s because all of you have the same eyes. Right now, it’s Suibhne talking to me, but I can feel Ash looking at me through your eyes. Also, I think this could be why he was so insistent on reshaping his mothman form into something I could interact with. He wanted me to experience him as a whole instead of one piece at a time.”
“All the energy is wound up like a ball of string,” said Suibhne. “That’s the cocoon of the mothman. It unwinds into silken threads that wrap around the living heart of the wood. And that’s how the puppets dance.”
« Huh, » said Daniel. « Maybe Suibhne was the right emanation to call. I’m starting to feel a lot better about all this. »
“You said that Goliath absorbed the Ashvattha emanations. I’m guessing that Yggdrasil absorbed the ones for Canopus?”
Suibhne nodded. “It was different at Nightside. The rocks were so solid, nothing big could grow. But when Yggdrasil got going – it’s powerful, you know that. It sucked in a whole clusterfuck of little ones – must’ve been thousands of them – who wanted to jump our train. But don’t worry, Tara. I and I only took thirteen of them, the best ones. He only wanted the ones that could contribute to your destiny. But then we had to figure out something to do with them. That’s why I made Canopus. That was good thinking, wasn’t it?”
“So that’s it,” said Tara. “I could never quite figure out why you were so insistent.”
“They were all over the place,” Suibhne continued. “So I thought that making them out of Atlas’ root would tie them in.”
« It does make sense, » said Malachi. « So we can all calm down. Mauve was only half-right; no one was taken against his will. »
“But there’s something I don’t get. You picked up the Goliath emanations when Ailann became Archon, and the Ashvattha emanations when Aran became Archon. So where did the Yggdrasil emanations come from?”
“Can we take a bath?” Suibhne asked.