The penguins are working their tails off, but there’s still an enormous queue at the café. I’m in line with Lakeland and Durant. The looks on their faces when I showed them that I had two fucktokens! It’s like they’ve never seen money before. Well, they probably haven’t. Aquatic Adventure doesn’t get on Tommy’s push much. The porn stars usually come from Club Rendezvous and Stud Buffet.
I’ll show these two how to earn a living. Look at Lakeland – what a dish! I can see him picking up Best Ingénue easily.
We finally reach the counter. Lakeland hands me an order of something called a pond pudding along with a packet of assorted licorice. It only seems fair, so I order a portion of my dessert.
« This bread pudding with the bourbon sauce – delicious! » says Lakeland.
When I stick my fork into the pond pudding, a thick blue syrup gushes out. « It’s self-saucing, » says Lakeland. « A whole sour nau’gsh is baked inside with butter and sugar. »
I’m not at all surprised by how rich it is, but it has a hefty dose of tartness too, which I didn’t expect from Lakeland. This could get interesting. I turn my attention to the licorice.
« Try the blue ones first, » says Durant. « They’re nau’gsh flavored. Some of the others can be a little hard to take, especially those Gentoo-bombs. » He points at a penguin-shaped candy. Strange – the pale areas look as though they’re covered with salt.
Since I like licorice, I don’t listen to him. When have I ever listened to anyone? I pop it into my mouth.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OK, it’s not sodium chloride. It’s ammonium chloride. If I’d been emanated, I would’ve smelled that. Who puts ammonium chloride on candy?
« Wait for it, » says Lakeland.
Wait for what? The pain to stop? The end of the hyperventilation and drooling?
Oh, wait, there is kind of a moment where the sweet and the salt balance each other. Yes, I kind of see…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
« They used to say that salmiakki was an acquired taste, » says Durant. « But ammonium chloride is also used commercially in fertilizers because it’s an incredible source of nitrogen. »
« My roots are tingling, » I gasp.
« Now about those fucktokens, » says Lakeland.