The Testimony of Fmis Highness Dauphin/e BashAshTim, in the Person of Fmis Emanation Hiirymm of Eer-gaaani
Of course I was very excited to meet my third-sister. Bashaat and Timouli are the reason for my existence, but I do feel strange at extended family gatherings. Family gatherings, as you probably know, are extremely important to my people. As the forhem, it’s my duty to serve the ghasha, and to lead in the singing of songs. It was sad to have no podlings to sing with me.
There was so much I wanted to ask Philosophia. I wanted to know what it was like to have more than one branch. I didn’t see the necessity for an additional emanation, and honestly, it seemed like it would just make life more complicated. Eer-gaaani relish simplicity in all things.
Eer-gaaani are very different from humans, apparently. Once, I heard Neliit, Bashaat’s aunt, talking about Tara. She said that in many ways humans are remarkable, but she wondered if they would be able to successfully make the leap to immortality. Humans seem to thrive on change, novelty and variety. It would seem possible for them to be defeated by their own restlessness. Neliit felt that Tara was the grand experiment, a woman of remarkable imagination, yet capable of a great amount of self-deception. The question was whether the Cu’enashti were going to be able to provide enough amusement for humans to quiet their natural perversity, the impulse they seem to have to smash the sand castle as soon as they’ve built it.
Case in point was the behavior I witnessed between Lord Danak and Admiral Noviik. Danak was apparently pair-bonding to a woman he held in high regard, yet was also evidencing some response to the sexual advances of Admiral Noviik. In return, Admiral Noviik’s interest – I believe it is called flirtation, the concept is difficult for my people to grasp – was an act of perversity. She did not seem to want him; she wanted attention. Specifically, she wanted the attention of the K’ntasari Melvin, who was clearly interested in her, but made no approach whatsoever.
I was curious, so I asked. Everyone on the ship stared at me for an awkward moment. I felt as if I had violated some unspoken custom. My people are always forthright in their dealings; it’s simplest that way. I probably should’ve read the signs that humans proceed obliquely.
Finally, Lord Danak said, “I think you must be imagining things.”
And then Melvin, “If a woman wants a man, she should declare her intent. That has been the custom of my people since the traitor Caliban stepped out of his place, and was defeated by Miranda.”
“I didn’t know that,” said the Admiral. “So you mean, all I have to say is, ‘Yo, Melvin, what about it?’”
“I accept, O Mistress of the Secret Ways of Space, Traveler of Galaxies, Lusty for Battle and Copulation.”
Admiral Noviik looked at Lord Danak and shrugged. He seemed – and I didn’t understand this at all – both relieved and disappointed.
And then the navigator, Xris, said, “I’m going to vomit.” Unless it was some peculiar human custom, it did not seem very socially supportive. The announcement of an Eer-gaaani bonding is a time for celebration; friends and family come from all over the world to drink ghasha, dance the ceremonial dances and tell sexually suggestive jokes which are considered to enhance fertility.
I thought I would engage in such joyous ribaldry. “How wonderful to be human,” I enthused. “Since your excretory and genital organs share the same orifices, it must lead to many uniquely stimulating practices.”
Once again, I felt that I must have made a social misstep. Neliit, present for the departure, closed all four of her eyes.
“My forher,” said etch. “Now that I am aware of your existence, I trust that we will keep in contact. Our brother is also excited at the prospect of communication. And it seems as though we have much to learn from each other. Much to learn,” she said, as if to emphasize it.
I couldn’t agree more.
After they had departed, Neliit took me aside. “A word of advice,’ she said. “Humans are fascinating, but not entirely trustworthy. Cu’enashti, in contrast, are the most trustworthy sentients in the known universe. Be careful of humans, beloved-of-my-nephew.”
“Do you think that the Champions of the Skylight Spin could be right? That Humanity was admitted into the Combine precipitously?”
“On the contrary,” she said, “considering that the Combine was founded by the SongLuminants, duplicity is hardly a detriment to membership. In a certain light, it could be considered advantageous.”
I have so very much to learn.