Tara is shaking me, motioning towards the bathroom. I barely scramble there before Lieutenant Graysal enters.
He’s telling Tara that they’re about to commence the interrogation of the girl again. In my mind, I think of her as Anger. She’s angry, and if so, it must be for a reason. Lorcan’s anger had a reason which nobody understood.
I wish Graysal would leave. I wish I could tell Tara that I finally made contact with Lorcan. I wish I could tell her that I understood Lens’ way of seeing – and I was wrong earlier. The thing which upset him was not Tara becoming nuncio.
Unfortunately, I still don’t know what did upset him. But from the way Tara reacted, I think she does. I’ll have to ask her.
But Graysal doesn’t leave – he asks Tara to go with him. She casts her eyes towards the bathroom, but there’s no way to refuse without arousing his suspicions. I decide to let them get a few minutes ahead of me, then follow as stealthily as I can.
While I wait, I try to mentally assemble the facts as I know them.
- Ashtara is tasked by the Combine to destroy the Denolin Turym.
- Ashtara lies, telling Tara he is going to the colony – this colony – Shambhala, but goes to Tucana – Nightside – instead.
- On Clive’s prodding, Tara tracks us down and discovers Yggdrasil.
- Tara is picked up by the Eer-gaaani, who tell her that they have been trying to preserve the Denolin. Beat perishes defeating a Denolin.
- Lorcan emanates because he’s especially qualified to deal with the Denolin. His relationship to the other emanations begins to change.
- According to Tara, at some point before they return to the Domha’vei, Lorcan is killed.
- Ailann convinces the Combine to establish an orchard where Cu’enashti can bond to Denolin. Humanity and the Hreck are admitted to the Combine, and Tara is made nuncio.
- By the time the Combine gala is held, there is something Wynne doesn’t want Tara to find out. I’m in agreement with her – it’s more serious than being set up to become the nuncio to the Combine.
- Wynne and Valentin negotiate to purchase a teleport system from the Floatfish, which is important for some unknown reason.
- Suibhne emanates, attacks the Atlas tree, and tells Tara to cultivate a new tree from root stock. It seems to be an act of contrition.
- Quennel emanates.
- I end up here, completely confused, after my tree is attacked by a terrorist.
I still don’t know why Suibhne created Canopus, or why my connection to the rest of the grove hasn’t been fully established. I can remember certain things, but only in bits and pieces. I can’t talk to my fellow branches. I’m alone.
That’s unnatural. And if I understand anything about being Cu’enashti, it puts me at an enormous disadvantage. The wealth of their experiences, their perspectives, is denied to me.
Lorcan could very well be at the root of the problem. Now that I’ve finally been able to access his branch, I have a much greater understanding of his situation. He was apparently created as a repository for Ashtara’s darkest impulses and then kept separate from the other branches. Then his inherent understanding of the Denolin made him useful in certain ways, and the process of reintegrating him into the branches began.
What if that process went wrong and Lorcan’s evil spread to the other branches? What if the malaise the branches were suffering was a result of that, and the reason I’m being kept isolated from them? If that’s the case, I’m the only one who is not contaminated. I may never be allowed to join them.
Also, Suibhne told Tara that Canopus was created to help with the situation. Maybe Quennel isn’t contaminated either? But if that’s so, why haven’t I been able to contact him?
I’m so alone. I’m actually glad that Tara isn’t here because I don’t want her to see me weeping like this.
I have to get myself together. First, it’s time to follow Tara to the colonization encampment. Second, my emotions are getting in the way of my ability to analyze the situation. Lorcan wasn’t the only branch that seemed to be undergoing a massive revision of attitude. From the very beginning, I’ve known that something was changing with Cillian, too. And there’s something else, something changing with…