The Verse:
Neither reason nor armies can prevail against
An old woman’s love for her god,
A young woman’s love for her idol.
The Vision:
I enter our chambers to find Whirljack and Blackjack waiting for me.
“Progpop is almost played out,” says Blackjack. “Time for a comeback album.”
“Ailann can’t even leave the palace,” says Whirljack. “We need a professional touch.”
“If there’s anything we know,” says Blackjack, “it’s how to deal with screaming groupies clamoring for a piece of us.”
Commentary by Archbishop Co’oal Venesti:
Whirljack and Blackjack Riordan are effective envoys doing the important work of youth outreach. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the use of media push – the message is truth, and whatever way it can be gotten to the faithful is holy. What is more natural than wanting to lift up our voices in song, praising the Word of the Living God?
Commentary by Elma, High Prophetess of Skarsia:
For over eight hundred and fifty years, I served the 4th and 5th Matriarchs. They were somber women. Cruel, brutal, no nonsense. And I laughed. They called me Wyrd Elma for that, because the laughter was creepy. People were dying right and left, and I laughed. Politics were underhanded, the ethnic groups of the Domha’vei were at each other’s throats, the Nau’gsh were crushed under the burden of their own secrets, and I laughed. It was inappropriate. Maybe I laughed because I was the only one who could.
Maybe I laughed because I knew it would end up like this. Hee hee heeeee heh.
Commentary taken from the rocumentary The Burning Bush: A Rock and Roll Pentecost.
[Scene is backstage at the Chalkolo Palladium. Roadies rush past, bussing large chests of equipment. Subtitle: Bobert Crandon, President of Vega Vids]: When Whirljack suggested that we holo the Two of Jacks comeback tour, it was a no-brainer. I mean, I think it’s fair to say – the term has never been so aptly used – that we’re witnessing the return of a pair of rock and roll gods.
[Cut to a young girl wearing a “Whirljack Riordan is God” t-shirt.]: My mother got this shirt back in ’90 – that was right after the release of Whirljack’s second album. It’s worth like…a fortune. Archonists consider it a holy relic of prophecy. But it’s worth more to me because just like Mom, I’m a True Fan. It doesn’t matter that he really is God, or that he can run the power grid or anything. He’s just one of the greatest musicians of all time.
Second girl [shoves her way in front of the camera]: Blackjack is cooler. I love you, Blackjack!
[Cut back to Crandon.]: The much anticipated new album was just released last week. So far, critical response has been enthusiastic.
[Subtitle: jerramyn b. alder, editor of Heavy Rotations.]: It was a pleasant surprise. Well, to me, anyway. I’m not an Archonist. But it’s the sort of maneuver we’ve seen since the beginning of mass media: has-beens schlepping a new piece of crap to cash in on nostalgia. But these guys are the real deal. They’re a perfect combination. If you want my straight opinion, Whirljack lost his edge after the third album. He was in the grand tradition of musician as political agitator – then suddenly, he was a part of the system. It just didn’t work. And his music was always a little too polished, a little bit corporate. Blackjack was the game-changer. His material is rougher, harder. He’s not afraid to make mistakes. Cut his branch, and he oozes rock and roll syrup. The two brothers balance each other perfectly – slick pop sensibility and authentic metal madness.
[Cut to album cover – a holographic image of a tree on fire.]
JBA: That cover – it’s obviously meant to be provocative. It’s an image of immolation. As soon as it came out, the Cantor denounced it. What happened was absolutely predictable: the youngest generation of Cu’endhari embraced it as their own. Do you see that red jacket Blackjack is wearing in the promos? Twenty thousand units moved in three days. Dolparessa is a sea of red jackets.
[Cut to Whirljack Riordan]: What we were trying to do musically, artistically, with both this album and this show, is create a sense of grandeur. The hope, the vista of the new empire. It’s a spectacle.
[Subtitle: Chalkolo Palladium, 3rd Beachday of Matriarcha, 3615. Two of Jacks is onstage. Blackjack leaps forward, gunning his guitar to a synchronized fury of holographic effects.]:
It goes below
As far as roots can reach
Our love, it grows
Our leaves embrace the stars
[Subtitle: Sara Howe-Dumfaller, pundit, Plasma Topics]: It’s propaganda, that’s what it is, absolute propaganda. Whirljack is back in business, and his business is politics. They’ve already got the Archonist Church working on the faithful, and now they’re using music to subvert our youth. Look at these titles: “Galaxies Await Us.” Or this one is the worst, “Lovers of Draco.” On the surface it’s a romantic ballad about a young man and a Cu’enashti. But the subtext couldn’t be clearer: go to Draco and find eternal love.
[Cut to Archbishop Seth]: Of course there are criticisms, and that’s healthy in a free media. And of course there are messages which will have a special resonance for the faithful. But at the end of the day, it’s only rock and roll.
[Cut to one of the road crew]: It takes a lot more preparation than most people realize to put on a show like this. I mean, look at the rider. [Holds up a datapad]. Fifty-seven cases of Deranged Bloobird Bourbon, nine cases of Regal Rhybaa, one hundred and fifty-five cases of RootRiot. [Subtitle: Burning Bush tour sponsored by Regal Beverages and RR Inc.] Four hundred bags of haline and spicepepper puddins.
[Cut to Blackjack Riordan]: Bourbon is the drink when I’m on tour. It’s rock and roll. Now my brother, he’ll relax with a glass of wine. Geez.
[Heard off-camera]: And everybody knows that BJ is slang for blow-job, right?
BJR: Well, I don’t think it hurts, really. The galaxy is full of rotten girls.
[Cut to smiling brunette]: Yeah, I do write fanfic. But you know, MarySues aren’t only tasteless, they’re heretical. Whereas twincest is canon for TOJ fandom.
WJR: I don’t want to discuss it.