Exactly one year after my receipt of the manuscript which would become Wooden Heart, a second parcel was delivered to me. If anything, the tale contained therein was even more bizarre and unbelievable. I would be inclined to think myself the object of an elaborate prank, especially since the date, April 2nd, immediately follows a holiday traditionally reserved for tomfoolery. In opposition to this theory stands my knowledge of linguistics. The complexities and idiosyncrasies of 37th Century Galactic Standard are too rich and detailed for forgery – unless I am dealing with an extraordinarily sophisticated linguist. I am loath to think that a mind capable of such systematic reasoning would be able to spew the elaborate confection of nonsense constituting these documents. A soul enamored with the pristine analysis of grammar could surely not conceive the ridiculous vision of a species of floating fish which expels phosphorescent vapors while laughing.
As with the first book, I have attempted to translate the idioms of 37th Century language into phrases understandable to a 21st Century audience. I was tempted to render the terms literally and employ extensive use of footnotes, but in the end, decided against it. Footnoting would only bog down the personal and poignant moments of the story while lending an air of academic credibility to a text which is of a clearly propagandistic nature.
Also, contrary to popular belief, I do understand the use of quotation marks. I am following the original text in choosing not to employ them for internal dialogues between emanations. I had considered using italics, but this made the text practically unreadable.
It is my sincere hope that, after discharging this duty, I shall be left alone to complete my monograph on the evolution of computerized chess programming.
– MC, 9 September 2013