Aggregate reviews compiled by RoastEm//pushpin. For holographic reviews, enable the RoastEm push on your datapad.
Aggregate rating 10.6 out of 14 gigastars
Representative sample reviews:
14/14: Lysa Demm’l, Vega Class Acts
We’ve been waiting forever for a new release from Two of Jacks, and it was well worth the anticipation. Never afraid of making groundbreaking moves, the twins depart radically from their last rocking release The Burning Bush. They’ve evolved lyrically from the political to the personal: when Whirljack sings in “Ex Nihilo” so hard to make something out of nothing, his world-weary voice carries the weight of experience. The album is layered with unexpected production touches, from the accordions on “Cannibal Molar” to the spoken word outro by poet Lorcan Fearghus on “De Lautréamont and You.” Is it rock, is it CooCooPop, is it flipflop polka? Who cares? It’s a thought-provoking media experience.
1/14: Borzak Amikim, GalMedi Musiczööne
If I never hear another Two of Jacks album, it will be too soon. Once upon a time, Whirljack Riordan was politically relevant, but that time is lost in antiquity along with dragons and hand-held PDAs. There’s only one thing worse than his MOR pseudo-indy whining: the rockstar posturing of his gobshite brother, Blackjack. Charge/Countercharge is not innovative; it’s a mess. The spoken-word piece is cringe-worthy; I’m embarrassed just to listen to it. Also, I hope they didn’t pay a lot for the cover art. A first year design student with a hangover could’ve come up with a better concept. But why should the Jack-off brothers care? They have a built-in market of brainwashed sheep who would buy a record of Whirljack’s flatulence to use for meditation music.
14/14: Bishop Frieda Zilpin, Archonist Liturgical Daily
Another miraculous gift to the faithful: when other religions say that the heart of God is not for humankind to know, the Living God opens up the depths of his soul to us in song. And more good news: on the second Archonsday of Sunslip, you can purchase the limited-edition 18cm vinyl after services at any Archonist church.
9.4/14: jerramyn b. alder, Heavy Rotations
You have to give the Riordan brothers credit for not just messaging it in. After all these years, they have a solid fan base, not to mention billions of people who literally believe that they are God. Instead, this is a sincere effort at reinvention. They’ve dumped the propaganda in favor of lyrical honesty, and if the sentiments are a little warmed-over (“when she walked in the room/ I didn’t give a mushroom/about anybody else”), it’s only fair to note there’s not much new left to say about boy-girl romance. I’m on the fence about the controversial spoken word piece: it’s not a good fit with the rest of the album, and I’m honestly not sure whether poet Lorcan Fearghus is serious or winking at us when he says, “It’s all blood, sap and ashes/ So why are you listening to this crap?” The downside is that there are a lot of moves like this which feel forced, innovation for the sake of innovation. “Whuppin in Gravity” is a thin attempt at CooCooPop, one that the kids will see through instantly. The high point of the album is “Ex Nihilo,” and it’s there they stick closest to the rock and roll formula. It makes one wish that they’d be a little truer to themselves, but Charge/Countercharge is going to push product – you can already see black and white jackets everywhere.
“Jack Riordan, Minister of Propaganda. 4th and 21st to emanate, 96 in the color scale, resonates to 503. 1.9 meters tall*, cock size 17.45 cm when erect, apparent age 29. Rock star and political activist. Totem is Artocarpus heterophyllus, jackfruit, when emanated singly; Populus × jackii, Balm of Gilead tree, and Quercus marilandica, blackjack oak, when emanated as twins. Fixed star is Sheratan, the two signs; as Jack, Takahiro-boshi, esteemed nobility star. Esoteric symbol is the Minchiate trump, I Gemelli, Gemini, the twins. Desserts are nau’gsh quesito and nau’gsh bread pudding with blackstrap-bourbon sauce. Function is synchronization, proto-conscious tendency is balance, designated Clockwise/Counterclockwise. Blazon is per fess argent and sable, a saltire dovetailed gray.”
*Blackjack appears to be 1.8775m tall, but only because he slumps – trans
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